Day 23 of treatment.

Guess we knew it was too good to be true that Tom would have two good days in a row. He was feeling crappy when we got home from Chemo today and went to bed early without anything to eat.

I'm sure it's the agressive Chemo along with the radiation that takes its toll on his body.

In my infinite wisdom yesterday I tried to make Tom something different for dinner than the standard mashed potatoes and soft vegetables. I thought, organic pasta with pesto sauce. I thought it would be easy to swallow, give him some calories, etc. etc. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Fortunately he tried it and didn't like it. I tried just a little of it because I had fresh vegetables for dinner. As you know, if you have been reading the Blog, Tom continues to complain about acid. Evidently it is caused by the Chemo. Last night I woke up several time because I had such acid I couldn't sleep. I can count the times on one hand that I've had acid and I've never had it like this. I felt like I had a rock in the bottom of my throat. So...it's not bad enough that he already had acid and couldn't eat, I gave him more with the pasta I made for dinner!

The only good thing to come out of it is that I now have an inkling of how he feels. I think it was meant to happen so I would "get it". I've been sympathetic as to how he's feeling so that's no surprise but now I have a much better understanding of how horrible it is to try and eat when you're not only feeling crappy but also when you feel like you have a rock in your throat.

I couldn't be sorrier for doing that to him. Needless to say I'm staying with simple things for him to eat even if he eats the same thing every day for the rest of the treatment.

Jeanne forwarded me an article on "taking time for yourself" for hands-on caregivers. It gives some suggestions of how to take a break (without feeling guilty). Thanks Jeanne. I'll have to work on that one.

Thanks again to all who are reading the Blog, praying for us and sending well wishes. We truly appreciate it.