I know I said I would post on Sunday's but I'm posting today in hopes that someone will read the Blog.

Tom was feeling pretty good yesterday, not great today. I keep praying he'll get stronger and healthier each day.

I received an e-mail today from one of the clients I work with. I have told a very limited number of the clients I work with about Tom. Primarily because it's hard for me to explain to people without crying. In his e-mail my client said he had been reading the Blog and was reading Kelly's as well. He indicated that he especially liked Kelly's Blog about her father being an artist. He went on to say how that Blog gave him a better appreciation for people who work with their hands.

I thought his comment warranted a Blog post. In the last several years I've really begun to appreciate all of the things that Tom is not only very capable of doing, but is very good at. I know I've mentioned in past posts that Tom does not have a degree. Tom is not a good speller and I'm sure his grammar could use some work as well. What I have come to appreciate more and more each day about him, is his ability to be so talented at so many things. Things that I know people with degrees could not begin to tackle. Not that I believe education isn't important, because I believe it is. I also believe there are many people without college educations who have numerous talents and abilities. My husband is one of them.

Not only do I admire all of the things Tom can do but it wasn't until last year when he started plowing for the State that I had any inkling of the hours and work it requires to keep State roads clean. I have a much better appreciation for those guys who are putting in endless hours to keep State roads safe during winter. I, for one, applaud what they do and thank them for it.

I hope some of you are still reading the Blog because I believe the message is an important one. It takes all kinds of people to make up this world. Many of whom contribute much more than any of us are aware of.

For those of you reading, thank you. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

I told you all I would update the Blog on Sunday so here I am. I hope you are all reading.

Tom is slowly improving. He's is still having a really hard time swallowing and is limited to eating chicken noodle soup and eggs. I told him today, that once this is over he will likely never eat chicken noodle soup again!

I know he's feeling better because he started to clear some brush this weekend. He did too much and was in a lot of pain and had to resort to taking pain medication. I told him to take things slowly, that he needs time to recover and get better.

We still have a way to go. For every day he is better I am very grateful and pray every day that he will continue to get better.

Thank you all for your comments on the last Blog.

Tom hasn't been able to eat the Ring Dings or the Funny Bones because it hurts too much to swallow.

Thanks Kerry for your comments about Food, Inc. It's nice to know there are others out there looking at healthier ways of living. Nan watched it too and although she has been a vegetarian for quite some time, and has purchased some organic products she too is changing what she purchases and consumes. In response to the hussy comment I will respond by saying you do what you have to do!!

I would also like to say it's a pleasure to know you, Kristi, and Andrew as the adults you are today. I know your Mom is very proud

Thanks Jeanne for your continued support, you too Brenda.

Thanks Kelly and Tami for being there.

Jeff, if you're reading this Blog thank you so much for visiting each week.

Chick, Pip and Linda stopped to visit today. Thank you.

The visits, calls, e-mails continue to be an important part of this process and for those we thank you.

Stay tuned for more next week.....

Tom finished radiation today. He has an appointment in four weeks to review his treatment and it's results with the radiologist. He actually received a diploma and this is what it said:

"Certificate of Merit and Appreciation" "Be it Declared that Thomas Drolet has completed the prescribed course of radiation therapy with the highest degree of courage determination, and good nature. We appreciate the confidence placed in us and the opportunity to serve you."

How cool is that? How true is that? He definitely completed this course with the highest degree of courage, determination and good nature!

Through this whole thing Tom has been great! He's had some really bad days and I know I've said it before - to quit smoking and go through what he's been through he is a Saint.

Thank you Kel, Tam, and Jeanne for the comments on yesterday's Blog. I look forward to the comments each day.

I'm going to tell you a little story. One that not many know but since we've developed this relationship over the past 33 days or so I thought I would entertain you.

Some 41-42 years ago I met Tom. He was dating a friend of mine. I knew I was interested in him so when he was taking my friend back to Plymouth State after semester break I offered to accompany them. Knowing that I would get to ride back with Tom alone. Yes, devious behavior as it was, I knew he was "the one". On the ride home I knew we were interested in each other but nothing happened then. Shortly after the ride to and from Plymouth he stopped dating my friend (she was way too loud for him anyway! and in case you are interested no longer a friend!). A couple of months after our trip to Plymouth State my car broke down and Tom stopped to fix it for me. I knew then he would call.

A short time later he called me for a date. We went out several times. At the time Tom asked me out I had been dating a guy from New England College for some time. Because dating two guys at the same time wasn't "done" then (not like it is today) I remember asking my brother who should I choose Tom or the guy from NEC. My brother chose Tom. I too, thought Tom was so stable, so "even" (for lack of a better word). I loved that about him.

We started dating in the winter of 1969 and the following November we were married. We will be celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary in November. I couldn't have made a better choice for a husband or a father.

Tom is comfortable with who he is. He doesn't second guess his decisions. He isn't a romantic guy but he brings far more to this relationship than romanticism. It's the little things he does like checking my oil before I go on a business trip.

Tom and I have two wonderful children (adults now). We couldn't be more proud of each of them and I won't even start talking about the grandchildren but they are the BEST!

When our kids were young Tom worked two jobs so I could work part time and be home with the kids as much as possible. He never complained he just did what needed to be done.

During our forty year relationship we have each been in pretty severe auto accidents and both survived. Dealing with this cancer is one more "bump in the road" that we are facing in our relationship. I feel we are blessed to have all of the things we have. We have a nice home, we have great kids, we have jobs, and we have the best family and friends. I am praying every day that this "bump in the road" is just that.

I'm the worrier in our relationship. I let little things get to me. I'd like to think after this experience I'll let those little things go and not get wrapped up in the things in life that don't really matter at all. Life is too precious to spend energy and time wasted on small things.

It's unfortunate that it takes an event like Tom and I are experiencing to make you realize the things you thought were so important are really so small in the grand scheme of things.

If I were to list all of the things Tom brings to our relationship you would be reading this Blog for a very long time. Tom is by far the stability in this relationship. I'm the romantic (hard to believe from a type A personality but it's true).

I could not be prouder or more grateful that I chose Tom during that fateful time in my life.

I am more in love with Tom today than ever, even after almost 40 years.

For those of you who are complacent in your relationship think about all of the great things your partner brings to the table. I'm sure everything isn't great all the time because no one is 100% perfect and don't the good and the bad things make the relationship that much better because that's how great relationship are built, isn't it? I'll bet if you list both the great and not so great things about your partner the things you do like will far outweigh the ones you don't. Focus on the positive things and let go of those things that you perceive are not so positive. In fact, not just the positive things about your partner but everything in life.

On another note - to maintain my focus on using non-chemical laden products here is a recipe for "Skin Feeding Sun Screen"

3 oz sesame oil

2 oz sweet almond oil

1/2 oz pure beeswax

4 oz distilled water

2 T zinc oxide

Optional

5 drops rose hip oil

5 drops chamomile essential oil

5 drops primrose oil

Melt the sesame, sweet almond oil and beeswax in a double boiler. Remove from heat, add water, blend with a stick blender until uniform. Allow mixture to cool. Add zinc oxide and other essential oils of your choice, if using. Blend. Transfer mixture to glass jar. Can be stored for up to six months.

Greasier skins should use almond oil alone. Sensitive skin is better off with a drop of chamomile oil instead. Be aware that chamomile oil is mildly lightening. Mature, dry skin would benefit from 1-3 drops of rose hip or evening primrose oil in addition to the sweet almond oil.

Sunscreen should be worn everyday even in winter. Enjoy. Most of the products can be purchased at Hannafords or Granite State Natural Foods. They would make great Christmas gifts too. Don't you think we should get back to making Christmas gifts? Wouldn't they be more meaningful?

Because Tom has completed his treatment this will be it for the daily Blog. I will update the Blog each Sunday so those of you who are interested can be informed of his progress until we are "out of the woods" and he's feeling better and back to work.

We still have a way to go. Tom has to regain his strength, he's still facing more Chemo. He will have another scan in several weeks to see what everything looks like and we'll know more then.

This has been quite an experience. Not only dealing with the cancer treatments but having you all be so supportive and helping me get through this. I don't know what I would have done without you! I know I've said it in all the Blogs. I truly cannot thank you all enough for your support. We are truly blessed to have you on our side and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

I hope you will continue to read the Blogs on Sunday evenings or Monday mornings so I can keep you informed of how Tom progresses through his current recovery and the next Chemo treatments.

Thank you so much!!

Day 32 of treatment. One more day to go.

Tom has more difficulty swallowing each day. Hopefully he'll get better once this round of treatment is over.

He lost more weight this week. Suffice it to say he's very thin. He told me I didn't need to tell people how much he weighs so I will say only that he currently weighs less than 140. His blood pressure was pretty good though 110/60.

We saw the Oncologist today. After Tom's last radiation treatment tomorrow he will have a few weeks off. We will see the Oncologist again on September 7. He will schedule a scan at that time. After a couple more weeks and after reviewing the scan, it is his intention to schedule one or two more Chemo treatments for Tom. He doesn't know, at this point, if the treatments will be six consecutive days, a couple weeks off and another six days or if he will limit them to three days a week.

The Oncologist did tell Tom that while he may not feel it, he has done extremely well through this aggressive treatment. Tom can't receive any more treatments until he's had some time to recover from the ones he's had and build up some strength.

Tom was pretty upset at the prospect of having more Chemo. He's feeling so miserable, is so thin, he said he doesn't know how much more he can take. The doctor told him the Chemo will be much easier without the radiation. Tom is not convinced.

It was so hard to see him upset at having more treatments. He's been through so much and just keeps going.

Thank you all for continuing to read the Blog, for your e-mails, calls, visits and all you do. Thank you again!!

Day 31 of treatment - 2 more to go. We have an appointment with the Oncologist tomorrow. I've told you all I'll let you know what happens next. As soon as I know, you'll know.

Thank you all for your comments on Friday's Blog. Thanks to those of you who e-mail and respond outside of the Blog.

Tom wasn't feel great over the weekend.

His throat is burning. It's hard to swallow. He's sick of eating eggs and soup. Oh yes, and we've added Jello to the diet.

This weekend he asked me to buy some Funny Bones and Ring Dings. Much to my better judgement I did as he asked because I thought even that trash is better than nothing. We'll see if he actually ends up eating them or if I end up throwing them out.

Jeanne thanks for stopping this weekend. I guess the Reiki treatment was not to be. Tom wasn't feeling well.

Jeff, if you're reading this. Thank you so much for your weekly visits. We couldn't ask for a better friend. We are so very appreciative. Thank you.

Thank you Andrew for your e-mail and offers to help. They are truly appreciated.

Thank you so much Kelly for your Blog today. You said some very kind things. I'll look forward to the manicure and pedicure.

If any of you haven't had the opportunity to see the DVD, Food, Inc. I encourage you to see it. I have it if there is anyone who would like to borrow it. Once you've watched it you will be as intent as I am about buying organic products and consuming organic foods. It's pretty disturbing. If we, as consumers, don't take a stand who will? I believe our future depends on it. Ok, I'll stop preaching but if you get a chance to see the DVD, please do.

I continue to be in awe at the prayers, e-mails, calls and all the support that we continue to get from all of you. We will be forever grateful. Thank you so much!!

Day 30 of treatment.

It seems like yesterday that we received the diagnosis that turned our world upside down and here we are 30 days into treatment.

Tom actually seemed pretty good today. I suspect it may be, in part, because he knows treatment is almost over. We'll have a better update for you after we see the doctor on Tuesday.

If I were to go back and review all of the Blogs to date and the comments from some of you reading them, put those together with the cards, e-mails, visits and phone calls we've received I would say Tom's diagnosis didn't just turn our world upside down. While Tom's cancer may not have the same impact on you, I know it would be fair to say it's certainly had an impact. Many of you have taken time out of your busy schedules to read the Blog, respond, visit, send cards, call, e-mail and the list goes on an on. It is humbling to know family and friends will rally around you when you need them the most. Thank you.

In her Blog Kelly talked about her Dad being her hero. Tami posted on the Blog how much her Dad has done for her and her family. Jeanne posted how she calls him when she needs him to fix something. Tom isn't just Kelly's hero, he's mine too. He is, by far, the most multi-talented person I know. He does not have a college degree. What he does have is an uncanny ability just to know things. He never reads directions when putting things together. He has this natural talent that he just knows how they go together. For those of you who have been to our home you've seen the remodeling he's done. He's never been trained to do those things. How is it that some people have this incredible talent yet it's never been taught to them?

It's not just his multi-talented abilities, he's the most even tempered person I know. He doesn't get flustered easily. While I have a tendency to go off the deep end he keeps everything in perspective. I guess opposites truly do attract.

Thank you so much Andrew for your post and offer to helps us. We truly appreciate not only the offer but that you're reading the Blog and staying in our corner. Thank you!

Tom put his foot down today and told me to buy Maxwell House coffee. While I thought I had the faux organic under control it is not to be. I'm not giving up, but for now, I'll get the Maxwell House. You can bet everything else will be organic though. Well, maybe not the beer, but that's it!

I just order several Organic books from Amazon so I'm sure there will be more to come. I made some shampoo tonight with burdock root. We'll see how that works out. I am pretty confident that anything is better than chemical laden products though.

Thank you all for reading the Blog. Keep the comments coming everyone likes to read them. Thanks for staying with us!!!

Day 29 of treatment. One more day before Tom has the weekend off.

He felt a little better today although he has four more days of radiation. We're hopeful once the treatments are over that he can start to build his strength and feel better.

It's so great to look at the Blog at the end of the day and see the comments. Thank you!!

Once treatment is over and Tom is feeling better I'm sure he'll be very to happy to have a beer with any and all of you (and a banana split with you too, Pip).

Yes Brenda, Tom still has his hair. We're both surprised. The fact that he had so much to begin with probably didn't hurt.

A couple of the guys from the Belmont shed stopped today to visit. Thanks guys. Thank you for the article too. It's good to know there are other organic seekers out there!!

During this process I have talked to Tom about the Blog and told him about all of your comments. I've only read it to him once. I was going to show him how to get into the Blog tonight so he could read it on his own. He said he didn't feel up to learning tonight because he was too tired. I decided if he didn't feel up to learning that I would read Wednesday's Blog to him, particularly Kelly's Art Class Blog and your comments. If any of you had the chance to read Kelly's Blog you shouldn't find it surprising that he was in tears. Then I read the comments from Wednesday's Blog and the tears continued. It isn't like Tom to cry. In a previous Blog I mentioned that I've seen him cry a handful of times in our close to 40 years of marriage. As he was going to bed we talked about all the support we're getting from all of you. He was very moved by Kelly's comments about him, the support from you all and is very appreciative.

Nan e-mailed today and told me she got a really nice e-mail from Maxwell House indicating they are continuing to improve their products. I believe that is how changes are made.

Thank you so much for your prayers, well wishes, comments, e-mails, phone calls, visits, all of the support you are giving us! It's all that support that gets us through this. Thank you!!!

Day 28 of treatment. Day 28 - can you imagine!!! This has been some Summer!

Radiation again today. Tom didn't do very well. Just when there is one good day, the following day, not so much.

You, who have been reading the Blog, know that Tom had aggressive Chemo treatments. Having Chemo every day for 6 days, two weeks off, and 6 days again is very aggressive. He's done great so far. He is so weak, has lost so much weight and yet he goes in there every day, like a trooper. On top of all that, to quit smoking, quit drinking and have the kind of treatments he's having I couldn't be more proud. To be fair, I don't think he really "quit" drinking, the carbonation hurts his throat. But he did quit smoking and for that I applaud him.

You guys are great to keep reading to Blog to see how he's doing. I'm so glad to have you in our corner!

Thanks so much for the Blog comments. I know I've said this before but I have to say it again, they're great! In fact, the following comments will respond, in some way, to each one.

Jeanne, you are sooooo much like your brother. You'll go for coffee as long as he pays. For you who know Tom really well he would say the same thing!

Pip, when Tom feels up to it, make sure you go for the banana split! Preferably, before he returns to drinking Mich light. I don't think they go well together.

I referred to Kelly's Blog yesterday because she had some really awesome things to say about her Dad (all true by the way!!). I thought because I could see her Blog you all could. Evidently that may not be the case. She put her Blog link on her comment for any of you who want to read what she had to say about Tom. It's under the "Art Class" Blog.

Tam, you know your father too well. Walk, maybe, run never!! You reading this, who know Tom, know that he goes one pace, always, without exception.

Tom, thanks so much for the kinds words re: General Services and DOT. They are very much appreciated. This experience has certainly taught me what a great group of people State employees are. They have been so kind and caring. Thanks to all of you!! Lest I forget the organic beer comment - I suppose if you drink enough beer I would guess one would not care if it were organic or not!

Yes, I'm determined to stay with organic products. I know in a previous Blog I mentioned that Tom only wants Maxwell House coffee. I was able to find an organic faux Maxwell House close enough that Tom hasn't noticed the difference. Thanks Nan for telling me about Yuban!

I'll close today's Blog with one last note - Tom said the first thing he wants when he's feeling better is a Wendy's bacon cheeseburger and fries (not the double one because that's too much). Ok, Ok, so it's not organic. When he's feeling better he can have Wendy's every day if he wants!!!

Maybe not one more note to close. I can't close the Blog without thanking you all again so much for all you're doing to help us through this. Thank you!!!

Day 27 of treatment.

Just radiation today. Tom has 6 more days of radiation. We'll know more next week when we see the Oncologist as he takes the lead on Tom's treatment.

Tom felt a little better today. Still having trouble swallowing due to extreme acid. Hopefully without Chemo that will get better.

For those of you reading the Blog when you first enter the site you should see Kelly's Blog featured as well. She had a post for today called "Art Class". If you haven't read it, please do. She wrote some very nice things about her Dad.

Thank you all for your comments on yesterday's Blog. Comments are always welcome!! If any of you reading the Blog haven't read the comments, take a minute and read them. They're great!

Kerry thanks for the information. Actually I do stop at Trader Joe's when I'm in Nashua. I wished they had one closer but you're right they have a lot of organic stuff. I bought a watermelon there recently and no, it did not cost $30.

Nan (my sister) e-mailed today, as she does each day. Nan has been on the organic band wagon longer than I have so she has more experience. She just switched all of her makeup to Physicians Formula because they produce certified organic makeup. She told me that she saw it at the Ocean State Job Lot store at a fraction of the price she paid for it. If you're interested you may want to check it out. She also told me she was going to e-mail Maxwell House to encourage them to think about producing organic coffee. You go Nan!!

This goes to one of the Blog readers - hope you're continuing to do well at quitting smoking. Don't give up, no matter what!!! You can do it!!!

Tom and I stopped at Pip's after treatment today and went for a short walk. Thanks Pip for inviting us.

We continue to receive e-mails, calls, visits and cards and of course, Blog comments. Thank you all so much for staying involved and staying with us throughout this journey. We are so appreciative. Thank you!!!

Day 26 of treatment.

Both Chemo and radiation today. We think this is the last day of Chemo. The Oncologist said something, earlier in this process, about additional Chemo in a few weeks but we won't know until we meet with him next Tuesday.

Tom felt pretty good today. I think a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders thinking the Chemo is finished. Here's hoping tomorrow is as good as today!

His blood pressure was really good today - 114/70. No more Procrit shots either! His weight is another story. He lost more weight this week. His weight, with his clothes on was 140 today. Hopefully, without Chemo, we can get some weight back on him.

Thanks Donna and Billy for visiting Tom today. I had to leave him at Chemo while I went to the office. I'm glad you both stopped and he was too. I know he's ok with staying alone but I hate leaving him there to get the treatments by himself.

Thanks Jeanne for stopping yesterday and giving Tom another Reiki treatment. That positive energy can only help.

Sharon and Dick stopped Saturday and brought soup - one for Tom and one for me and tons of herbs. Thanks guys. The soup is excellent!

Chick actually picked us some wild blackberries and dropped them off over the weekend. Thanks Chick, I used them in muffins.

Thanks Kel, Kristi and Brenda for your Blog comments. They are appreciated. It helps me feel connected.

Thanks Nan for always responding to the Blog and giving me encouragement. Thanks for all of the plants too.

Thanks Brian for mowing the lawn again.

On another note, I stopped at the Co-Op to pick up some groceries, as I'm determined, that we will continue to eat organic foods. Tom has been able to eat watermelon so I picked one up while I was there. I didn't realize until I checked my receipt later on that the watermelon was $30. Yes, folks, you read it right - $30. This was not a large watermelon. For those of you who have been eating organically for a while, the watermelon rind protects the fruit from pesticides so they don't carry the same pesticide dangers as some other foods. I'll still buy organic watermelon, I'll just check the price first!!

Tom doesn't care about the organic foods but he draws the line at coffee. He still wants only Maxwell House. I'm working on that one.

As I am writing the Blog it occurs to me how incredibly lucky we are to have such good friends, family and people who care about Tom and about us. In spite of all that is going on we feel so blessed to have such support.

Thanks to you all!

Day 25 of treatment. So hard to believe we started this on July 12!

Tom didn't do so well today. His blood pressure was very low so they would not give him his Chemo treatment. His blood pressure was 80/40 if that gives you any indication. Instead of the Chemo he got saline as he was dehydrated again.

Jeff and Lee stopped this afternoon as did Kel and the kids. Thanks guys for stopping by.

I received an e-mail from a friend today saying she has been reading the Blog and it prompted her to stop smoking. She has been three days smoke free. Congratulations. I'm sure it isn't easy but it will be worth it. Your family will thank you! On one hand, it's unfortunate that the Blog, because of the nature of it, is in some part responsible for encouraging someone to quit smoking. On the other hand, it's a good thing if good things come out of reading the Blog.

I also encourage my friend to think about starting a Blog of her own among her smoking friends, relatives, workmates, etc. Why not use the Blog as a source of encouragement to keep going? Especially with those around you going through the same thing? Whatever you decide to do DON'T QUIT THE FIGHT TO QUIT!!

Those of you reading the Blog know that each day my sister sends me an e-mail to comment on the Blog and send words of encouragement. In today's e-mail she told me how much she loved the "dump" story and that in times of crisis you find out exactly what you are capable of doing. Last summer our brother-in-law had a serious ankle injury. He was unable to walk for several months so my sister stayed home with him (worked from home) and was responsible for a lot of things she was not responsible for before. She really got to test her skills and knows first hand that you can do things you didn't know you were capable of. In her e-mail today she also told me how much her husband hated that she had to do everything. I know Tom feels very much that way. He doesn't tell me that but I know it when I try to do something and he barks at me and tells me to leave it alone that he'll get to it. I am his wife. I love him more than words can say. That said, I have no idea how hard this is for him. I will say this with all the sincerity in my heart. If I could take this disease for my own and relieve him of it I would do it in a heartbeat. I used to hear people say those things and think they were nuts. Now I truly understand what it means to feel that way. Instead all I can do is support him in every way I know how and be there when he needs me.

Thanks so much for reading the Blog, for your prayers, well wishes, visits, calls and e-mails. Do something nice for your loved one(s) this weekend. It doesn't have to be expensive. It doesn't have to take a lot of time. It can be as simple as a kind word, a wild flower, a walk. Take the time.

Day 24 of treatment -

Not much new to report. Tom was better than yesterday, not as good as the day before. We take each day as it comes.

He didn't take a nap today though, which he usually does.

We long for the days when he feels great and can do the things he used to do.

Jeanne came to the hospital to visit during Chemo today. Thanks Jeanne. It's always fun to have company and it's a long time to sit with not much to do.

Jeanne reminded us (me) of something very important today. Not only is Tom going through this grueling therapy but he quit smoking in May, cold turkey. I keep forgetting that it probably isn't just the therapy that's getting him down but I'm sure the withdrawal from smoking has it's impact as well.

I applaud him for all he's going through, including quitting smoking, and I am so very proud of him.

I know I've mentioned it in previous Blogs, in addition to the comments that sometimes appear on the Blog we get e-mails from folks giving us suggestions, sending well wishes or just checking in.

Thanks Anne for the powdered milk suggestion. We'll try anything at this point.

Thanks Ted for the e-mail. Tom thought it was pretty funny! It's always good to get a laugh.

Any of you who know Tom knows that he does practically everything around the house, at least anything to do with outside (and the numerous remodeling projects). Some of you who also know him know that he does it because he likes to do things that keep him moving and those of you who don't know - he does it because no one else could do it right!

In any case, for the 23, or so years that we have lived here I can count on one hand how many times I have been to the Canterbury dump. I decided to help Tom and start going to the dump with him (that's probably his only outing other than to therapy). I had my third trip on Wednesday. Now I know why he complains when I put too much in the barrel or don't close the bags tight enough. I guess we can all learn something new each day.

For those of you who don't know me well I work with various clients performing financial audits. I have not told most of the clients I work with about Tom, mainly because it's hard for me. One of the few I have told sent me an e-mail telling me that the Blog was a good way for me to talk to someone rather than keeping everything to myself. It occurred to me, he is absolutely right! This is my therapy. For all of you therapists out there willing to listen I am eternally grateful and it sure is cheaper than hiring a therapist (unless of course you start sending me bills). All joking aside, this means more to me than I can say. Just to have you in our corner means everything. Thank you again!!!

I can't say it enough to all of you who read the Blog, send e-mails, call, visit, pray, and give us your well wishes. Hang in there with us! We are so appreciative of all you do and you're just being there.

Day 23 of treatment.

Guess we knew it was too good to be true that Tom would have two good days in a row. He was feeling crappy when we got home from Chemo today and went to bed early without anything to eat.

I'm sure it's the agressive Chemo along with the radiation that takes its toll on his body.

In my infinite wisdom yesterday I tried to make Tom something different for dinner than the standard mashed potatoes and soft vegetables. I thought, organic pasta with pesto sauce. I thought it would be easy to swallow, give him some calories, etc. etc. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Fortunately he tried it and didn't like it. I tried just a little of it because I had fresh vegetables for dinner. As you know, if you have been reading the Blog, Tom continues to complain about acid. Evidently it is caused by the Chemo. Last night I woke up several time because I had such acid I couldn't sleep. I can count the times on one hand that I've had acid and I've never had it like this. I felt like I had a rock in the bottom of my throat. So...it's not bad enough that he already had acid and couldn't eat, I gave him more with the pasta I made for dinner!

The only good thing to come out of it is that I now have an inkling of how he feels. I think it was meant to happen so I would "get it". I've been sympathetic as to how he's feeling so that's no surprise but now I have a much better understanding of how horrible it is to try and eat when you're not only feeling crappy but also when you feel like you have a rock in your throat.

I couldn't be sorrier for doing that to him. Needless to say I'm staying with simple things for him to eat even if he eats the same thing every day for the rest of the treatment.

Jeanne forwarded me an article on "taking time for yourself" for hands-on caregivers. It gives some suggestions of how to take a break (without feeling guilty). Thanks Jeanne. I'll have to work on that one.

Thanks again to all who are reading the Blog, praying for us and sending well wishes. We truly appreciate it.

Day 22 of treatment

This will be a relatively short post.

Radiation and Chemo again.

For whatever reason Tom is more upbeat today and looks better than I have seen him in weeks. Even the Chemo nurse told me he looked good today.

Let's hope it lasts!

I would like to take this opportunity to explain last nights post. It was never meant to offend anyone. While we appreciate all the offers of help, and people have been helping right along I've been a little reticent to accept help. Partly because that's my personality but it finally came to me what the real reason was. It wasn't until Tami offered to help that I realized if Tom can't take a break it's not fair for me to either. To some of you that may sound ridiculous but to me it makes all kinds of sense.

It's not about the offers to help. It's my guilty feelings that I don't want Tom to have to go through this alone.

For any that I offended with yesterday's Blog please accept my apology.

All along I have continued to say that without all the support we are getting this journey would be significantly more unbearable than it already seems.

Thank you all for your offers, for your help and for just being there!

Day 21 of treatment. Radiation and Chemo this week.

Tom lost another five pounds this week. We were able to get him some prescription medication today that is supposed to help with the acid. I hope this works so that he can eat a little more. It's important that he maintain his weight and not loose any more and we just can't seem to get there.

On the upside, his blood pressure wasn't too low this week and that's a good thing.

I know in a previous Blog I mentioned Tom was starting to loose his hair. I knew it was getting a little thinner but didn't realize how much he was loosing until I went to change the sheets this weekend and it is EVERYWHERE. For those of your who know about my hair fettish I'm actually handling this a lot better than I thought I would.

Thank you Kerry for the diet recommendation. Tonight I made mashed potatoes with cream and lots of butter. He ate them. I started making his scrambled eggs with cream a few days ago in an attempt to try to increase his calorie count. Whatever it takes to get the calories in.

Tami made some blueberry muffins for him. If I heat them up so they are soft and put butter on them he can get them down. Thanks Tam.

I have tried the protein powder every which way. I think he doesn't like it because it makes things taste grainy. It may be great in smoothies but he doesn't like them either.

I fully expect we will get a visit from the nutritionist this week once she sees the weight loss on his chart.

Thanks to the Belmont crew for the card and the gift card.

Thanks Carla for the kind words.

Tonight I had a discussion with our daughter. She offered to take Tom to his treatments so that I could get a break. I appreciate the offer. My response to her was - Why should I get a break when Dad can't take one? Tom and I are in this together. I can't believe anyone could be married as long as we have and not feel the way I do about this. I'm no marter and anyone who knows me definitely knows that I'm no Saint but I believe what I said to Tami. We're in this together all the way.

I am so grateful to my boss for allowing me to work at home and re-arrange my schedule in order to take Tom to his treatments each day and just to be with him. Thank you Brad.

There are certain days when I can't be with Tom because of work and I know I've said it before but I'm very grateful for those of you who stepped in to help when I couldn't be there.

Thanks to those of you who continue to read the Blog, e-mail, call, and visit. I won't say we couldn't do this without you because we don't have a choice but all that you do eases the burden. Thank you!

Day 20 of treatment. Is this a milestone yet?

Not much to report today regarding Tom's health. Last day of radiation before we go back to radiation and Chemo on Monday. He's definitely not looking forward to it.

Thanks for the comments regarding food choices. We've tried the Jello, too sweet. I made him mashed potatoes tonight. Added a little cheese and some protein powder just to give him some calories. Well, that didn't work. He didn't like them at all. Evidently the cheese and protein powder made them a little thick for him. Next time it will be plain mashed potatoes.

I tried another carnation shake, this time with Coconut milk. That way there would be no chance of a Lactose reaction. That didn't work either. I actually thought it was pretty good. He thought it was horrible.

So, it was back to soft scrambled eggs which seem to be the old standby. At least it's something. If he eats scrambled eggs for the rest of his treatment, fine with me as long as he eats something.

I also made some creme brulee without the sugar topping. He was able to eat that. Since it's made with egg yolks and cream, it has tons of calories and as long as he can eat it I'll continue to make it.

I'm not complaining, mind you. It's just frustrating because I want him to maintain as much strength as he can through this ordeal.

Making several different meals for dinner brings me back to the days when the kids were small and everyone wanted something different.

Donna (one of Tom's sisters) came to visit today. Thanks Donna.

Tom received two really nice cards today. Again, from some folks at the Morton building. Thanks so much ladies. Your cards and thoughts are very much appreciated.

What you don't see on the Blog is that each day, after my sister reads the Blog, she sends me an e-mail. In her e-mails she summarizes the situation we're in, tells us how great we're doing in fighting this disease every day, then gives us words of encouragement to keep going. Thanks Nan. I'm so glad you're my sister.

You've read it before. You'll read it again. Straight from the heart. Your cards, visits, comments, e-mails, kind words, thoughts and prayers are truly helping us through this ordeal. We are truly fortunate to have you all in our corner and for that we will be eternally grateful.

So here it is, Day 19. Almost 4 weeks (one month) into treatment. It amazes me that not so long ago Tom and I were both in shock, now here we are right in the middle of this thing. Maybe still in shock but at least in treatment.

Jeanne took Tom for treatment today and then to lunch. Thanks Jeanne. Guess he didn't eat much. He's pretty much limited to soft scrambled eggs now.

Thank you all so much for your comments. They are very much appreciated. We're also receiving e-mails in response to the Blog. Those too are very much appreciated. Somehow the comments help me to maintain some sort of sanity and to feel that we're not isolated and alone. It makes me wonder what people did before the internet.

Thanks Kristi for the ice cream suggestion. It might work, and probably would for the rest of us, but Tom wasn't an ice cream fan even when he was eating. I did buy some in hopes that he would eat a little each day, no go. Of course, we all know what happened then - I ate it. I do buy coconut milk ice cream (Tom is Lactose intolerant) to have on hand for our grandaughter. He likes it but again, ice cream isn't his favorite thing.

For those of you who know Tom well I think he's probably had less than six beers in the last 3 months. Carbonated beverages are out right now too. If he doesn't drink beer chances of him eating something he doesn't like are slim to none.

I did put some Boost in popsicle molds today - just in case.

If any of you can think of anything else I should try I'm up for suggestions.

I know you may get sick of reading this but it's important to tell you how much your comments, e-mails, calls and/or visits mean to us. Thank you!!

Thank you, Nan, for your continued words of encouragement. They mean more than you know.

Day 18 of treatment.

And so it begins. The part about them telling us it would get worse before it gets better.

Tom has been having a lot of, what we thought was, acid indigestion. Evidently it's internal burning from the radiation. He was having a hard time swallowing and it's getting worse. He couldn't eat anything tonight and for those of you who have seen him he can't afford to lose any more weight.

With several more weeks of radiation it's anybody's guess how we'll fare.

We can see the beginning stages of him losing his hair. It doesn't seem to be coming out in clumps but it is starting to thin. That's the least of our worries. He had his head shaved a while ago because he didn't want all the hair going down the drain. It's typical of him to think about those things.

It's been very difficult leaving him to go to work this week. I'm not sure how other people do it. I know he's been in capable hands and for that I'm very grateful. It's still difficult. I worry about him not eating, that he needs something and can't or won't get it.

I think about what this disease has done to our family. It is truly emotionally taxing. I think about all the things friends and family are doing for us and how their daily routines are also affected.

On a brighter note, we continue eating organic foods and using recycled paper products. I continue to make my own shampoo which I bring to Nan (my sister) to try out for me. We're doing all we can to stay away from chemical products that not only hurt us but the environment. Actually, it feels pretty good. If I could find anything good to come from this it would be that we're more diligent in eating organic foods and using recycled non-chemical products. Better for us. Better for the environment.

After talking to my sister in law my next project will be to try to make my own soap, from scratch. Ok, maybe a bit overboard, but I think it would be great. Nan, be prepared to sample it.

The nice thing about having a sister try the stuff is that she'll tell me if it's really good or really bad.

Some would say this sort of thing brings people closer. I can't say that because Tom and I have a great relationship. I won't say this doesn't put somewhat of a strain on it because I'd be lying but the strain for him is that he feels miserable and longs to feel better. The strain for me is that he feels miserable and I want him to feel better.

Thanks for reading and thanks for being there!!

Day 17 of treatment.

This will be a short post, not much to report.

One day of radiation and one day closer to the next round of Chemo.

Tom was given a Procrit injection today but didn't need any hydration. That's a good thing.

It's getting harder to find things he will eat. It hurts him to swallow. The doctor prescribed mouthwash that he has to gargle with and swallow four times a day. It makes his mouth and throat numb so he can swallow. Although the radiation isn't targeted at his throat they can't help but hit the throat when administering the radiation to his lung. I tried protein powder in his mashed potatoes. Anything is better than nothing. At least he ate it. Yesterday the doctor told him he has to eat more protein. Easier said than done.

I received an e-mail from a friend today with the following quote that I will end today's post with.

"Sieze the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family for they have helped make you the person you are today."

As always, thank you friends and family for being there for us. We love you all.

Day 16 of treatment. I will be putting the day of treatment at the beginning of each Blog just to track how far we've come. We should be in the middle of the treatment but the physician team may change the number of treatments depending on the results of the current treatment. We'll keep you posted.

Tom did ok over the weekend. Tired as usual. No weight gain but no weight loss either, at least not at last weigh in on Sunday.

Our friend Jeff brought him a box of tissues in the event that while watching soap operas during the day he might need to use one. Thanks Jeff. We can all use a little humor! For those of you who don't know, Tom actually watches Court TV, not soap operas.

Tom did fairly well today. Our brother-in-law took him to his treatment and then fishing. Thank you Chickie for hanging out with him today and Pip for feeding him lunch.

I had to travel to Nashua on business today and will be working there for the remainder of the week.

Tom has an appointment with the Oncologist tomorrow as a follow-up during treatment. They will check is blood pressure, blood count, and give him another Procrit shot, if necessary. If he's dehydrated again he'll receive intravenous hydration.

Thank God for family and friends, because without them, I'm not sure what we'd do. Chickie is spending three days of his vacation with Tom and Jeanne is going to spend some time with him on Thursday.

Whoever is reading this Blog now knows that the help that has been offered is being called upon. Thank you so much!! We will be forever grateful.

Thank you Tom and Ann for your encouraging words.

Short Blog today. More to come tomorrow.

We continue to say it. We can't say it enough. Thank you all for all you are doing to help us get through this.