As I said a long time ago, the first part of the Blog would be related to Tom and how he's feeling.  From there I would go on to organic information, life lessons and/or other information that I hope may inform and/or inspire you.

Tom had a tough week this week.  He hasn't been feeling well at all.  I'm hoping next week will be better.

I ask you all to keep him in your thoughts and prayers (as Kerry and Jeanne said please keep good thoughts!!).

Kerry, thank you so much for your insight.  Isn't it interesting how if we make some little changes in our lives it can make, not only a difference in our lives, but in the lives of others with whom we have contact?  The good Karma is an especially nice thought.    I'm reading a book called Love, Medicine and Miracles that also mentions how our attitudes can make all the difference in our health.  Isn't it better to be happy than to be hostile or angry with people, especially in the case of your horn blower.  Had you been angry,  my guess is he may have retaliated over what turned out to be just a bad horn connection. 

I have to admit mine is a work in progress but I think the more we try, the better we become as I'm sure you're realizing too.   If not better, at least happier.

Jeanne, thanks for your comments too.   As always, comments are very much appreciated.    And that's my lead in to what I've been thinking about all week.

I HATE this.  I HATE that Tom is sick.  I HATE that he is feeling miserable.  I want to do something and I'm stuck.  It's hard and I am definitely not in control which is a real problem for me.  Now, for the old cliche - out of something bad there is always something good.  While it's hard to find the good things there are some.  Or at least, an awareness that I wished I'd had a long time ago.

Throughout this process I know I continue to tell you how all of your support means everything.  What occurred to me last week was that Tom and I have been married for 40 + years.  I have always been close to my sister, and my brother too (before he passed away).  Tom and I weren't really close to his family because, like all of us, we are so busy raising kids, working, going to school there just wasn't enough time in the day.

Jeanne and Donna, Tom's sister's consistently check in.  Jeanne calls if she doesn't stop.  I truly enjoy their company, as does Tom.  I wished we (or I) had taken the time earlier to get to know them better.  I think they have a lot to offer and I would be proud to call them friends.  It's unfortunate that hindsight, rather than foresight, is 20/20.

This is not to take away from the rest of Tom's family whom we've had contact with throughout the years.  We are very appreciative of them, as well.

I have also made a new friend in our new sister-in-law Tammy.  She has a great heart and is a really good friend.  She, like everyone, wants to help but I don't know what to ask for.  She suggested that she come to church with me today.  What a wonderful, kind gesture.  Just to be there for support.  Something so simple and yet so kind.  Thank you Tammy.

It doesn't end here.  I couldn't be prouder of our daughters.   I think, as parents, we can take some credit for how our kids turn out.  But I also believe learning and growing never stops and continues well beyond when they leave the comfort of the home in which they grew up.   There are things that I am discovering about our kids every day.    I believe our daughters have turned out to be very extraordinary women.

I wonder if I would have discovered the things I have if Tom and I weren't going through this difficult time in our lives.    If anything good can come out if this that has to be it.

My sister, e-mails and keeps in touch constantly.  She is the primary care giver for our Mom and yet she makes sure I know where she is all the time in case I need her.  Just knowing she is there means so much.  Thank you Nan.

I have used this Blog to thank a few people that have been pretty constant in our lives, some always, some lately.  They are not the only ones.   If I were to name everyone this Blog would become a book and you would all loose interest.  It's when we are experiencing lows that people come to our aide, and we are incredibly fortunate to have the friends and family that have done just that.  I keep telling you that means everything when you are in a situation like ours.  You can't truly appreciate it unless you sit where we are but I will tell you if we are to look for the good in all of this it is to see the kindness and genuine compassion that people have shown to us.  The things we've learned about those we thought we knew.  Thank you so much.

First to update you on Tom.  He hasn't had a great week.  We were able to get into the radiologist on Tuesday so he has had four days of radiation.  He will have six more treatments.

I'm not sure if any of you reading the Blog has ever been through a similar situation and I'm also not sure there is a worse feeling than the helplessness that I feel in not being able to take this pain away from Tom.  He continues to be a trooper in dealing with this horrible disease.  I am so proud of him and could not ask for a better man in my life - in fact I don't think there is a better man than he is.

Now for my weekly lesson.  I have very little patience, not while driving, not for people who are rude, not for incompetence.   If I am in a situation where the person I'm dealing with is rude or unfriendly, I think "What a jerk.   They should find another job if they can't be pleasant".   A thought occurred to me while I was driving to the Pharmacy to pick up some pain medication for Tom this week.  I make a lot of assumptions when I think a person is a jerk because they are rude or unfriendly.  How do I know they aren't just having a bad day or that they aren't dealing with a similar situation that Tom and I are in, or heaven forbid something even worse?  Why is it okay for me to just assume they are a jerk because they weren't nice to me on a particular day?  I'm going to work at trying to be more understanding.  Not to make assumptions for something that I know nothing about.  To try to be nicer, even when someone isn't particularly nice to me.  I don't know if any of you ever feel the way that I do sometimes but I think if we all try to be more understanding and don't assume things about others we might all be better off.

One of the other thoughts I had this week was for you guys keeping the roads clear during the current blizzard.  For those of you who don't know, the guy's plowing the roads for DOT work tirelessly for hours on end to keep the roads clear for those of us driving on them.  When I say hours on end they are working straight for 16, 20, 30 hours or more.  Thank you!!

At church today the minister presented us with what it would look like if God had texted the Ten Commandments to Moses.  I thought it was fun and that I would share it with you.

M, PLS RITE ON TABS & GIV 2 PPL (Moses, please write on tablet and give to people)

1.  no 1 b4 me. srsly (No one before me, seriously)
2.  dnt wrshp pix/idols (Do not worship idols)
3.  no omg's (No Oh My God's - do not take the Lord's name in vain)
4.  no wrk on wkend (sat 4 now; sun l8r)  (no work on weekends - Saturday for now - Sunday later) (keep the sabbath holy)
5.  pos ok - ur m&d r cool (parents over shoulder ok - your Mom and Dad are cool)
6.  dnt kill ppl (do not kill people)
7.  :-X only w/m8 (sex only with mate)
8.  dnt steal (don't steal)
9.  dnt lie re: bf (don't lie to your best friend)
10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob (don't ogle your best friends mate, or ox, or donkey, mind your own business)

Thank you so much to all of you who are visiting, calling and helping to support us.

Donna and Jeanne stop in a least once a week.  I hope you know how much your visits mean to us!!

Tom's sister Penny brought us a chicken and a squash that she raised herself.  Thanks Penny.  They were both fabulous.

Nan and Ivan brought us a great fruit salad.    Nan, I am so glad you are my sister.  I love you.

Our friend, and personal electrician, Jeff continues to check in frequently.

Dennis and Tammy put in stair railings on our garage and cellar stairs so Tom could use them.   Thank you.

Thank you Brian for plowing and helping with the dump.  We appreciate everything you do.

Thanks Kel for cutting Dad's hair.

Thank you Jeanne, Sharon and Kerry for your comments on the last Blog.

I am noting those people who I have seen this past week.  In addition to those noted here we get calls, cards and well wishes from others as well.

I know you reading the Blog can't help but see the support we are so fortunate to have.  We are so grateful to all of you.  I'm not sure how we would ever get through this without you.    Thank you!!!

Several of you already know that Tom spent a few days in the hospital last week.   An MRI discovered cancer in his spine.  We have an appointment with the radiologist this week.  I'll keep you posted as we know more.

When we were at the doctors office last week we saw another state employee who was diagnosed with cancer over the Christmas holiday. 

I'm not sure if it's because we're going through this or if there is an increase in cancer cases recently but it seems that every where we turn someone is telling us they have been diagnosed with cancer. It's pretty unsettling.


One of our friends sent us the following survival kit and I thought it was worth passing on to you.  What you don't see is the picture of the survival kit that came with the e-mail (I tried to copy and paste it but couldn't get it to work).  The kit includes a toothpick, a rubber band, a band aide, eraser, a candy kiss, a mint, bubble gum, a tea bag and a pencil.

YOUR DAILY SURVIVAL KIT FOR 2011

Today, I am giving you a

DAILY SURVIVAL KIT  
to help you each day............

Toothpick ... to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone, including yourself.

Rubber band ... to remind you to be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want, but it can be worked out.  

Band-Aid ... to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else's.

Eraser ... to remind you everyone makes mistakes. That's okay, we learn by our errors.

Candy Kiss ... to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment everyday.

Mint ... to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family & Me.

Bubble Gum ... to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.

Pencil ... to remind you to list your blessings every day.

Tea Bag ... to remind you to take time to relax daily and go over
that list of God's blessings. This is what makes life worth living every minute, every day.




Thanks again for reading the blog and staying with us. 

Tom didn't have a great week last week.  He had planned on doing some things around the house but as it turned out didn't feel very well so those plans have been set aside.

The most frustrating thing for me about this disease is that I can't fix it.  I just want to make things better for Tom.  I want him to have one day that he is feeling ok (truth be told, I want more than one but I'll take one at a time).  When you see someone you love going through this disease day after day, or any debilitating type disease it makes your heart sink.  Personally, I think he's handling this much better than I am.

I know, in my heart, that a positive attitude will help so on with the march.

Our daughter and her kids posted a list of the best and worst things of 2010 on her Blog.  I think that's a great idea.  It would be my hope that we could learn from some of the worst things that happen to us and cherish and repeat some of the best things.

Thank you all for your Christmas cards and well wishes for Tom.  They mean so very much to us.  And Julie, your hand made cards couldn't be more perfect.  Thank you!

Thanks Carla and Jeanne for your comments on the last Blog and your prayers for us. 

I went to Church yesterday and the minister said a prayer for Tom.   I was a little taken back as I had not discussed this with him but at the same time very appreciative as well.

We wish you all a very healthy and happy new year.  Thanks again for being there for us.