It's been a while since I have posted.  It gets especially hard as we get closer to the summer since it is only a few more weeks until Tom's 61st birthday, and the same time last year that he was diagnosed with cancer.  I never thought I would be sitting here alone now.  I was so sure he would recover.  He had such a good attitude and was so strong.

I know that many of you who have talked to me lately think that sometimes I am morbid when I say I would rather be dead than be here.  My counselor put it in perspective when he said "You want to be dead because you want to be with Tom".  That's exactly it.  I would be anywhere that he is.

Several of you have asked me repeatedly about how you can help and what you can do.  Your being there through this whole thing has been invaluable.  I have come up with a task that many of you already know about.  May 14 and 15 I am having a deck building party to put a deck on the back of our home.   Tom would have done this had he been here.  I am not capable of doing it so I'm asking for help.  I will supply all of the food, drinks and materials, I need the builders.  Our brother in law drew up the plans for the deck.  Thank you Ray.  I have to take them to the lumber yard and get the materials, which will be delivered here on or before that date.  Whether you want to help build or just hang out you are welcome to come and I hope to see you here.

Plans for the Lungevity walk are coming along.  I met with the person at NHTI last week.  We will be able to use the bathrooms at the tech, we have a DJ, we have volunteers to coordinate registration, the distribution of the t-shirts, and guidance for the walk; we have a vendor who is coming from NY to sell rings she makes ($20/each) and give 1/2 of the proceeds to Lungevity.  I still have a lot of work to do (sponsors, in kind donations etc) but it is coming along.  I will also be soliciting teams to join us in the walk.  I hope to see all of you there.  It really is for a good cause.

I believe that I live in one of the best communities around.  The minister still comes to visit to see how I'm doing.  I went to the recycling center last week and a gentleman  helped me take my garbage out of my vehicle.  People here really care, and it does make a difference.

 My sister in law posted the following on FaceBook and I thought it was worth sharing with you (thanks Carla)

My curfew was the street lights, my mom didn't call my cell, she yelled my name, I played outside with friends, not online. If I didn't eat what my mom cooked, then I didn't eat. Sanitizer didn't exist, but you COULD get your mouth washed out with soap. I rode a bike without a helmet, getting dirty was OK, and neighbors gave a damn as much as your parents did. Re-post if you drank water from a garden hose and survived.

Those statements are so true for those of us who grew up actually playing outside, instead of inside on the computer or the WII.   We actually played things like "tag" and "jump rope", softball, kick ball, hopscotch and they didn't have to be organized and expensive.  When we got older we went to dances, to the beach, not the Mall (we didn't have any money).  We actually spent time together rather than socializing via texting. There was a wholesomeness about growing up years ago that I'm not sure kids today get to experience.  It's a little sad.

Speaking of kids today....I have some theories on bullying and getting fat from eating McDonald's.  How is it that bullying is so out of control that there actually have to be laws to control it rather than parents?  Why is it that, as parents, we allow bullying to get so bad that kids feel so desperate they feel the only way out is suicide?  Two thoughts - we as parents, need to teach our kids that bullying is unacceptable - we as parents ,need to teach our kids to have enough confidence in themselves that if someone does bully them it is the bully's issue, not the one being bullied.


A similar theme holds true with McDonald's.  Here's the million dollar question.....Is it McDonald's that makes kids fat or is it that parents allow their kids to go to McDonald's more often than they eat healthy meals at home?  That is the question parents should be asking themselves.

How did we come to a world where everything is always someone else fault?  We need laws for bullying?  We insist McDonald's change their menu rather than choose not to eat there??

Just something to think about.

Thank you Jeanne and Kerry for your comments on the last blog.  You're right Kerry, I have to remind myself to read that poem, especially when I'm crying because I try to do something and have no clue how to begin and don't want to ask for help.

Our electrician Jeff, who has been here every weekend since Tom was diagnosed with cancer last May continues to stop at least once a week.  If he doesn't stop he calls.  How lucky are we to have such a friend?  If you are reading this Jeff, thank you.

Thanks to those of you who continue to read the blog.  I'll keep you updated on the November walk.