Day 15 of treatment...

So far, status quo, not good, not bad. That said, Tom hasn't had any Chemo this week. He's getting a little repreive next week too. He starts back on Chemo a week from Monday.

At therapy last week, we met a very nice gentleman, recently retired, who was diagnosed with Cancer and started treatments last week. Chemo once a week and radiation every day.

Because of the way the schedule is set up we generally see the same people getting radiation treatment each day. This gentleman is one of them. He was doing great! Going golfing, taking long motorcycle rides and just living his life. Then came this morning. He looked terrible. He told us he had a really bad night. He's not eating, he's not sleeping. He's very fatigued.

In my infinite wisdom, I encouraged him to eat and told him that sleeping and eating are very important through the treatment and for the road to recovery.

What do I know? I'm no expert. I only know what I've read. I thought I needed to give him some kind of encouragement, advice, something.

As someone who is going through the same symptoms I have to wonder how much of it is the actual cancer and how much is the treatment itself.

What I did realize is that now I know why the team is made up of Oncology, Radiology, Nutritionist, MSW's and other therapists including Reiki and Massage.

The whole team is needed to deal with a Cancer diagnosis and it's treatment and while the physicians are responsible for administering treatment the others, on the team, are in every way as necessary to the treatment as the physicians.

I forgot to thank Jeanne for the toothpaste and the mouthwash yesterday. Thanks Jeanne.

Thanks Brian for mowing the lawn before you left for vacation.

I have to be in Nashua next week on business and our brother-in-law has offered to take Tom to his treatments. Thanks Chick.

Ted stopped to visit today. For those of you who don't know who he is he worked with Tom at the Morton building. Evidently Ted is reading the Blog. He asked if I was always into Organic stuff.

The reality is I used to always buy things like organic eggs and more recently organic shampoos. What prompted this latest obsession were a few things. First, I recently read an article linking ADHD and ADD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder) to processed foods and those foods laced with additional hormes. We have grandchildren with those disorders. Second, our grandaughter is very sensitive to many kinds of foods particularly wheat and milk products. Third, I thought with Tom's body receiving Chemo and radiation the last thing he needed was unnecessary chemicals derived from food.

One thing lead to another. The more I read, the more I'm convinced that organic is the way to go. That said, even with organic products one has to be careful. What I understand is that they should be certified organic products. Evidently, un-certified organic products may have some organic components but aren't completely organic.

I'm no expert. I'm still learning. What surprised me the most, in all of this research, is how much cheaper it is to make your own shampoo, body wash, and cleaners. I toyed with those things before but never made it a passion. Now that I have, I don't know why I didn't do it years ago.

As, with all of my posts, we thank you all so much for your well wishes, prayers, visits and reading the Blog. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Day 14 of treatment.

Treatment was limited to radiation today. Tom's skin is beginning to show signs of burning from the radiation. The clinical team warned us this would happen. We have cream to apply each day to help with the burning.

He continues to get pretty severe acid indigestion. That too, is from the radiation.

Otherwise, he was a little tired but that seems to be the norm these days.

The Belmont crew stopped today to visit. Thanks guys. Visits are always appreciated. FYI - no one wants Tom to go back to work more than he does.

We also received an e-mail from another person Tom worked with who is a cancer survivor. We'll be contacting him to get some insight. Every bit of information helps.

Jeanne gave Tom his first Reiki treatment today. He actually enjoyed it. Who knew? I'm still not sure I would hold my breath that he'll become a Holistic guru but he has agreed to continue with treatments.

One of the guys I work with sent me a link to The 20 Best Organic Foods. Check out the link. There is even organic beer (Belmont crew let us know next time you stop...I wouldn't want you to miss trying it) and wine (we know who the wine lovers are).

I went to the Miles Smith Farm today to pick up some organic meat, chicken and eggs. For those of you who haven't been there they sell fresh meats on Tuesday and Thursday and put the meat in the freezer on Saturday. The chickens are frozen. I was fully expecting to buy frozen meat and was pleasantly surprised that I didn't have to.

Nan gave me a link to a nutrition drink we could try since Tom couldn't handle the Boost. We tried it, or should I say he did. He said it wasn't bad, he didn't get sick and he is willing to try it again. Jeanne suggested we try making fudgesicles or frozen treats so he could eat, rather than drink, it. Today I bought some popsicle molds and we're going to try the frozen route.

In keeping with the organic, home made, non chemical theme here's a facial mask recipe for the ladies that I found while perusing a magazine. I guess the guys could try it too - after all this is 2010...

Chocolate Martini Mask - (use organic products)

1/4 C cocoa powder
1/4 C honey (or brown sugar)
3 T oatmeal powder (grind whole oats in a blender)
2 T soy milk

Stir all together. Apply to clean face. Leave on for 20 min then wipe off using warm towel. Enjoy and don't eat it!

On a more serious note. Until we discovered Tom's cancer we were not diligent about making sure our medical history was complete. That includes the health history of our parents as well as other relatives. Having a complete and accurate medical history on file with your primary care physician is essential for providing complete medical care.

For those of you reading the Blog who don't know the medical history of your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings. Find out. Make sure your physician has a record of it. Your health as well as your children's and grandchildren's may depend on it.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. To those of you who continue to send cards, call, visit. This is a long road for all of us. Everything you do helps and we are very appreciative. Thank you.

Day 13 of treatment. For those of you who read the Blog yesterday I'm sure you sensed some frustration. Before starting this Blog I decided to go back and re-read the ones previously written. One thing is for sure, there are definitely good days and bad. Yesterday was one of the bad ones.

I had to go into the office today so Tom took himself to radiation. I made him lunch before I left (peanut butter and jelly) because unless I made it, he probably wouldn't eat. If you've been reading the Blog you know that's a problem.

He did pretty well today. He went to radiation. He walked to the mailbox a couple of times and he weed-whacked around the house. We bought a new battery operated weed whacker, so I could do that chore until he gets back on his feet, since I couldn't run the big gas one we have. He really pushed himself today and was exhausted when I got home at 5.

All in all though it was a pretty good day for him. He was in bed before 8.

Sharon, I see you were able to leave a comment on yesterday's Blog. You too, must have seen the frustration in the Blog. Thanks so much for the words encouragement. They were very much needed and are very much appreciated.

Yesterday's Blog talked about my fear and concern regarding Tom receiving Procrit along with the frustration that came through the Blog. As usual, Nan (my sister) e-mailed me to check in, give me some words of encouragement, and give me more information about Procit to put some of my fears at ease. You came through yet again. I love you. Thanks!!

I work in a small office. I haven't been there much since I've been working at home. I know everyone there is willing to help with my workload and I am very grateful. Thank you all and thanks for the card Chris. Please don't think for one minute that your willingness to help goes un-noticed.

If anyone had asked me a year ago, forget a year, say three months ago if I could ever see myself writing a Blog, nevermind writing one about taking this journey I would have said they were nuts. Yet, here I am. And you too because you're reading it. Life throws unexpected curves. I guess that's part of Life's journey. We do the best we can, always be kind to others, and take life one day at a time.

For those of you following my Organic obsession I have two recipes. One's for diswashing detergent and one for dish soap and here they are:

Dishwashing detergent -

1 C. Borax
1 C. Baking Soda
1/4 C. citric acid (can be found in grocery or health food stores)
1/4 C table salt
1/4 tsp essential oil of choice

Shake ingredients together in a sealed glass jar. Use 1-2 T. per dishload.
You may have to adjust the amount of baking soda depending on your water hardness.

White vinegar is supposed to work well in the rinse dispenser. I haven't tried either of these yet, but I'm going to.

If you think table salt is strange I read it can be used to clean glass. I now use it to clean my glass stove top and it works great!! And yes, without chemicals!

Liquid dish soap -

2 C liquid Castille soad (I use unscented)
1/2 C water
1 tsp fresh lemon juice, or 2 drops lemon essential oil
5 drops essential oil of your choice (orange, peppermint, evergreen - whatever)
1/2 C white vinegar (to kill germs)

Mix or pour into dispensing bottle. Shake to blend before using.

You may want to reduce this recipe depending on how much liquid dish soap you use. I haven't tried this one yet either but it's next on my list.

I know I've said it before. I can't say it enough. Thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers and well wishes. We are very grateful.

Day 12 of treatment. Not such a great day. Tom felt pretty good this morning when we headed to radiation. After radiation we were off to see the Oncologist for review of the treatment so far.

Tom's blood pressure is very low and his blood work indicated that he is anemic. This is consistent with agressive Chemo treatments (maybe treatments in general). In addition, Tom was dehydrated again, in spite of drinking water all day.

Because of the anemia and the dehydration he was given saline intravenously for a couple of hours and also given an injection of Procrit. The side effects of Procrit are very serious but the Oncologist assures us he doesn't think it will be a problem. Tom is supposed to get Procirt injections once a week. I'm going to follow up with the Oncologist because frankly it makes me nervous. The injections are to ward off a possible blood transfusion.

For those of you who have offered to give blood I did speak with the Oncologist. He indicated blood would have to be given at least two weeks ahead of time in order to be processed for the intended person. He said he didn't see any advantages to doing that because we don't know if Tom will need a transfusion and the blood bank is very safe.

We're watching him to make sure he doesn't become disoriented, dizzy or other symptoms that would indicate a further decrease in blood pressure.

Chemo starts back again on August 9th for six days of agressive treatment. Tom and I were both thinking it wasn't going to start for a while. We thought it would continue on August 29th. I guess we put a 2 where it didn't belong. Needless to say he was a little unsettled. He thought he would have a little more time to try to bring his strength back up. When they said agressive treatments, they meant it.

Taking care of Tom is a full time job. Thank you Brad for letting me work at home so I can do this.

Thanks for the blueberries Kel.

Thanks to you all for reading the Blog, leaving your comments and checking in. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Day 11 of treatment. Tom hasn't lost any hair yet but I guess it starts to fall out a couple of weeks after Chemo stops. I'll keep you posted.

In previous Blogs I mentioned that Tom is supposed to try and walk at least six minutes a day.

We walked to the mailbox today to get the paper. Then we walked down again some time later to get the mail. Small steps in trying to build some strength. It's funny what we take for granted. Sounds like such a cliche and yet being here, now, it's so clear to see. I depend on Tom for a lot of things. Now we're excited that he can make it to the mail box not once, but twice in one day without getting too fatigued. That said, he slept most of the rest of the day.

Friends and family continue to ask what they can do to help us. I keep saying be patient because that day will come. But for right now, today, do something for us. Look at your partner, friend, children, sister, brother, grandchildren, those special people in your life. Really look at them for who they are, their strengths, their weaknesses and appreciate who they are and what they bring to your life. And for just one day, even a minute, don't take them for granted.

Our friend (and personal electrician) has stopped at least once a week to check on Tom and if he doesn't stop he calls. Thanks Jeff. Your friendship means a lot to us (not to mention that you're the best electrician around, in spite of what I say to you when you're actually here). We appreciate that you take time out of your busy schedule to visit.

Jeanne told us this weekend that Tom should be using a special toothpaste. That her experience has been that Chemo and Radiation can cause tooth decay due to dry mouth. That's not in any books I've read. It's nearly impossible to know all the side effects this type of treatment brings. Thanks Jeanne for the info. and for getting the toothpaste for Tom.

Nan e-mailed me about some calorie rich, lactose free, low sodium drink (like Boost) that Tom should be able to tolerate. I'm going to try to pick some up this week so he can try it. Thanks Nan.

Jeanne is going to set up a Reiki treatment for Tom....stay tuned.....

Along with the chicken soup that Sharon brought she also brought us a ton of herbs from her garden. Now that I am an organic monster I boiled the lavender she brought and used it to make lavender shampoo/body wash. I snipped some of the other herbs she gave us and used them to make glycerine soap. I know you all think I'm nuts but with radiation Tom can't use anything with chemicals. And yes, most people would use herbs in some sort of gourmet dish, but me, I make soap and shampoo.

As I'm writing this Blog it occurs to me that you all want to help and have asked what you can do.....please go back and read some of the previous paragrahps and look at what you are doing. Thank you so much!!!!!

If we think about the good things that come from this, Tom has quit smoking and we're using natural products and eating organic foods. I can't help but believe if more people did this natural products and organic foods would become more affordable for everyone. And no, I'm not preaching this because I know this lifestyle doesn't work for everyone.

In a previous Blog I mentioned that I purchased some organic, all natural laundry detergent from the Vermont Soap company. I've had a chance to use it and it's really great! I have a high efficiency washing maching so I only need a 1/4 of a cup and I don't need fabric softener when I use it. It's called Liquid Sunshine for any of you who are interested.

Ok, I'll get of my soapbox (literally) and end this Blog.

We thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. They truly are appreciated and are helping us every day to get through this journey. THANK YOU!!

Tom was feeling a bit better on Thursday. Since we had made camping reservations several months ago we decided to go camping at Ellacoya. We thought it would help to get Tom out of the house. Our friends Sharon and Dick were there and offered to help set up if we needed it.

Dick helped Tom with the camper and we used Dick's grill to cook so we wouldn't have to set ours up.

Tom started feeling poorly about 8PM and went to bed. I stayed at Dick and Sharon's camper for a while. Feeling guilty staying there I wanted to go back to the camper to see if Tom needed anything. When I got back he told me how happy he was that I was able to get a break. It's funny that until that moment I never thought about how hard this must be for him to be so needy. It's so foreign to him to have me wait on him for everything and not be able to do anything to help.

As it turned out, he didn't sleep all night. Friday morning we headed back to Concord for his radiation treatment. We decided to stay home Friday so he could get some sleep. Maybe camping wasn't such a great idea.

Friday evening we started him on the Boost that was recommended by the doctor. Almost as soon as he drank it, it came back up. Boost isn't going to happen. We are going to talk to the nutritionist next week to see if she has any other recommendations to get his calorie count up. If anybody has any recommendations we're happy to hear them.

Since we decided camping may not have been such a great idea we returned to the campground on Saturday to pick up the camper. We stayed for a few hours then Dick helped us pack up and we came home. Thanks Dick.

Tom Robinson, Tom's former boss, and his wife Mary were at the campground too. They couldn't have been nicer (sorry Tom if any of your employees read this). They were great and offered to bring the camper home if Tom couldn't get it there. Thanks Tom and Mary.

Tom felt pretty good on Saturday but slept most of the day today. Guess we can't get two good days in a row.

Jeanne rode her bike over today and talked to Tom again about Reiki. She left her CD's here and told him when he "begged" her to do it she would. Jeanne, I think we have him talked into it. Please set something up with him. Kristi, I'll make sure to document everything - just for you. I don't think there will be any preaching about holistic health from Tom though, so don't hold your breath on that one.

Sharon and Dick brought chicken soup today for the days when Tom has trouble swallowing. Thanks Sharon and Dick.

Thanks Krisi for the offer to help.

Thank you all for your continued offers to help. Kristi, your comment was so appropriate, regarding the general offer to help. We know all your offers are genuine and that you want to help but don't know how. Believe me, I know how you feel. I know I've said it in the Blog before, I'm doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, switching to organic products, etc. etc. because that's what I know how to do. I too, am at a loss to know how to deal with this other than taking care of things day to day.

I'm sure there is going to come a time, in this journey, that we are going to need help. I just don't know what to ask for now. We do appreciate all the offers and we know there will come a time that we will have to call upon some of you to help. Again, we thank you.

I guess if we have to ask any of you to do something for us right now it would be to please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

We are now two full weeks into therapy. Hard to believe we've been dealing with this for almost two months. We still have a way to go.

The radiation causes Tom severe acid. The radiolist said that's to be expected since the radiation is targeted near the Esophagus. I guess I've said this before but the Radiolist continues to tell us it's going to get worse before it gets better. Tom has been instructed to increase his calorie count and to drink three bottles of Boost a day. We haven't started that yet but plan to this evening.

I'm trying to arrange this Blog so that those of you who only want to read about Tom and how he's doing, rather than reading about the journey we are going through (and my obsession with organic items) can get read the first two or three paragraphs and get the information you are looking for.

For those of you who are not only reading about Tom's progress, but the journey it's taking to get there and the help we're getting along the way, I will continue to post that as well.

I have taken on the job of making sure Tom gets good nutrition, is supported at all of his appointments, and do whatever I can, whenever I can. I don't really think about it as a chore because it's something that needs to be done. And frankly, I couldn't imagine doing anything else. What did come to mind though is that this is not his disease, it's our disease. He's fighting it the way he has to and I'm fighting it in the only way I know. That said, for those of you who know him, I'm driving him nuts with my organic obsession.

I continue to say this because it's so important. All the well wishes, the help we receive, the company that visits, our kids who pitch in, is all part of this journey and you are all helping us to fight this disease in your own way. In the way that you know. For that we are forever grateful. This may seem like a broken record but if you were on this end you would know exactly what I mean. The time you spend, just thinking of us, is invaluable and no mater how many times we say thank you it doesn't seem like enough.

There won't be any posts over the weekend unless something happens primarily because Tom doesn't get any treatments. There will be another post on Monday.

Today's Blog....

Tom is feeling a little better today but the day isn't over yet either. Not that I want to sound cynical but he can be feeling great one minute and horrible the next.

This is something taken from an e-mail my sister sent to me today "I love the blog and it is a perfect way to keep everyone involved and connected. Please thank Sharon again for the idea, Kelly for implementing it, and most of all...you for writing it." Nan is right. Thank's Sharon and Kelly. Your help is most appreciated. I know we've said it before, but one can't say it enough. We love you both.

Tom received a card today from Planning. If anyone reading this Blog has access to the Planning staff please let them know that we can't thank them enough. The comments made both Tom and me cry. In our 39 years of marriage it's only the fourth time I have seen him cry. It was so thoughful. The comments were so touching. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And when he gets better don't tell him I told you he cried!!

Nothing on the organic stuff today although I have something in the works so you'll be reading something in the future.

Thank you all for reading the Blog and I guess having not much to say is better than reporting a lot of bad stuff.

Day 8 of treatment. I'm not sure what we expected but this definitely isn't a "walk in the park".

Tom isn't feeling well today. Not eating great. As I understand it the Chemo kills all cells good and bad then the cells need time to regenerate. If we think about what that means, it has to take a significant toll on the body. So when Tom isn't feeling well it seems to make sense. We certainly long for the day when he feels better.

We went to the physical therapist today in order to get some advice on Tom beginning some sort of activity. The PT told him to start walking at least 6 minutes a day and work up from there. For those of you who know Tom, walking 6 minutes a day, REALLY? This is a person who never sat still, at least not at home. All the books, the advice, say stay active and eat well. I wonder if people who write these things really know how hard that is to do under these conditions. For those of us on the other end of it - it isn't easy for the person trying to do it, or the person trying to make the person do it. I guess the motto would be "just keep trying".

Tom's sister, Jeanne, has offered to give Tom a Reiki session as she is a Reiki practitioner. She also offered to help him with weight traning as she is certified in weight training (as I said to her, is there anything you don't do??). We'll see if he takes her up on either of those things. With any luck he will. Thanks Jeanne.

Tom's other sister (for those of you who don't know - he has five) brought him a pie today. Thanks Pip.

I was reading a book on Cancer today and it confirmed, too, that organic is the way to go. There is a great local farm that raises meat without any hormones, etc. It is the MilesSmithFarm in Loudon. The prices are comparable to the chemical laiden stuff in the market.

For any of you interested in organic shampoos etc there are ton's of websites with organic shampoo recipes, some using herbs, some using teabags. We're going to try some. We'll let you know the results. Not only does making your own shampoos, bath gel and lotion save money but NO MORE CHEMICALS.

Ok, off my soapbox.

On another note, I have two really important messages, actually three -

If any of you smoke, PLEASE STOP. It may be hard to stop but believe me this is 100 times worse than anything you think may be too hard to do. PLEASE, if you care about people who care about you - do it - no excuses.

Thank God for friends and family. We are so appreciative of the comments, the e-mails, the phone calls. Thank you so much.

Thank God for our children and their spouses who, while they don't show it, we know this is hard for them too and we truly appreciate the strength you do show. We are so proud of you and we love you. Thank you so much Brian for checking in and taking care of the lawn, the vehicles, etc.

Nan, I love you. Thank you for giving me the strength to stay semi-sane.

For those of you who have wanted to leave comments and have not been able to I have changed the security. You should be able to leave comments now and we encourage you to do so. This is a learning experience for me (thank you Kel).

Let us know if you post a comment and it doesn't show up.

During this experience, I have been more diligent in switching to more (all) organic food and more organic products, soaps, cleaners, paper products, etc. etc. In fact, I purchased Castile soap, good for almost anything, and made some cleaners from it. Our daughter Kelly has been doing this for a while now. There's a lot of reasons for purchasing certified organic foods along with other products. I encourage any of you who are interested, and not doing that yet, to use the internet to gather useful information regarding organic products and reasons for consuming and using them.

We needed some new drinking glasses so I purchased four recyled drinking glasses from Bottlehood.com. They were made from old wine glasses and they are fabulous. For any of you interested, check out the website.

Enough of "other stuff" - back to Tom - which this Blog is actually about. No Chemo today. Radiation this afternoon. We're hoping, with the break in Chemo, that he may gain some weight and strength back.

Again, thank you to all of you who are visiting, e-mailing and checking up on him. I'm not sure you have any idea how much this means to us. We are very grateful. Thank you.

Today was the last Chemo treatment until the end of August. Radiation treatment will continue every day.

The Chemo is taking it's toll. Tom slept all day yesterday. He is very tired. The fatigue is a side effect of the Chemo. The doctor indicated he is dehydrated - also a side effect of the Chemo. One has to drink considerably more than usual to flush the Chemo drugs out of the liver. For those of you who have not seen him he has lost about 30 lbs.

We're hoping now that the Chemo is over he will regain some weight and some strength as well.

We have made an appointment to see the Physical Therapist so Tom can start some light exercises at home.

Those of you who know him well know that he was always pretty active. We need to get him back there.

Please continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Any of you who reviewed the Blog can see that it has changed. Kelly cleaned it up for us because she didn't like the way it looked. Thanks Kel.

We're through the first week of Chemo. Back again Monday. Then radiation until the end of August.

The nurse indicated Tom did exceptionally well with his first week. Other than a little nausea and some acid he's been upbeat and maintains a positive attitude. They keep telling us things will get more difficult as treatment continues. I guess we'll see.

Jeanne (Tom's sister) bought him Clif bars to make sure he has enough nutrition. Thanks for that!

Penney (Tom's sister too) let us borrow some books on what to expect with cancer treatments along with books on nutrition with recipes. The books have been very informative. Thanks Penney.

We continue to receive e-mails with well wishes from folks. We thank all of you for that. You can't have too many prayers and well wishes.

My best friend recommended I start a blog to let everyone know how Tom is progessing through this ordeal, or should I call it an experience. So with the help of our youngest daughter, here it is.
Please feel free to contact us directly, through e-mail, phone, etc. if you want more information or if the blog seems too impersonal.

Today is day 4 of Tom's treatment. He's done pretty well so far although I think things are starting to settle in. He's pretty tired today. While the new nausea medications keep this at bay he's feeling a little of it.

He completes Chemo on Monday and continues with radiation for several weeks. Then it's back to Chemo. He's on agressive treatments for those of you who don't know.

The Chemo nurses are fabulous. Attitude means everything!

For those of you who have visited him during Chemotherapy (and you know who you are) thank you. It is very much appreciated.

Tom received a card from some of the ladies at the Morton building. Thank you too.

Carla, thanks for the card. Please keep us in your prayers.

Thanks to our son-in-law for taking care of the lawn.

Thanks to all of you who have continued to stay in contact and have offered to help us out. All the thoughts, prayers, well-wishes, offers, and help don't go un-noticed.

I'll continue to keep the blog updated. If I fail, Kelly has offered to keep it up for me.