To start this post I apologize for not updating the Blog routinely like I said I would.  It's been very busy for me but no excuses.  I will be more diligent in updating the Blog (and this time I mean it).

Tom has had a couple of weeks off from treatment, which is really good, because these treatments have taken their toll on him.  He's just beginning to feel better and on Thursday he starts in again.

The Oncologist is changing the type of Chemo he'll be getting on Thursday due to the pretty severe reactions he's had the last few times he's received treatment.

My sister, her husband, and our kids and grand kids joined us for Thanksgiving on Thursday.  I was so happy  to have them join us.  It brought some sort of normalcy to our house that we haven't seen in a while.

That, said I am so grateful for everything we do have, including a wonderful family and great friends.

With Thanksgiving over and Christmas just around the corner I was thinking about the holidays and what they mean to me.

I do very limited Christmas shopping since we buy primarily for the grandkids only.  Years ago we used to exchange gifts with all family members.  After I watched my kids put their gifts in drawers, never to be seen again, until we disposed of them I decided we would no longer exchange gifts.  The holidays, to me, are about spending time with family, not exchanging gifts.  Isn't that what Christmas should be about?

The most precious gifts we ever received were things our kids made for us when they were in school.  I wonder what happened to those times of making, rather than buying gifts.  Of exchanging just one gift, with all the love and thought that went in to either making or buying it, rather than counting how many gifts are under the tree.

Any of you who know me know that I spoil my grandkids.  I know the psychological reasons for that are because we grew up with nothing and I remember that terrible feeling of being embarrassed because we had less than everyone else (or at least that was our perception).  As I get older, I consider how those days shaped the person I am today.  Is it so bad to help our kids to know the true meaning of Christmas?  To help them to know that even if they don't get "the thing they had to have" the world would not come to an end, assuming they would even remember a week later.  Is it so bad to have adults know that too?

I know, at least for me, I want nothing for Christmas this year except to get a good report on Tom's health.  To know that the treatments are working and that he will get better.

Thank you Carla for your comment on the last Blog.  It's nice to keep in touch, even if it's only through the Blog.

Jeanne will be taking Tom to his treatment this week as I have to be away for work.  I don't think I need to tell anyone, reading this Blog, how stressful it is not to be there when he is having treatment.  That said, I'm thankful and grateful that Jeanne has stepped in to help.

In one of the previous Blog posts I indicated that I would work on informing those of you reading the Blog where the best deals were for organic foods.  I'm still working on it.   I'm saving all of my receipts to do some comparisons.  To let you know, I bought an organic red pepper yesterday that was almost $4.  My hope is that I can provide you with some information that will assist you in purchasing organic products, if you choose to do that, that won't cost you an arm and a leg (like the pepper, watermelon and various other purchases I have made).

My sister e-mailed me a link with lots of good information.  Once you open the link, there are additional links to organic food coupons, how to make home made cleaners and a variety of other information.  If you're interested, click on the link.

http://frugalliving.about.com/od/frugalliving101/tp/Start_Frugal.htm

We've been doing this for six months now.  Thank you for hanging in there with us, reading the Blog, and staying in touch.

Tom wasn't feeling great over the weekend.  He has a few days to start to feel a little better before he goes for his next treatment.  Thankfully he has Thanksgiving week off.

Today is our 40th anniversary.  Forty years and it seems like it was yesterday!  Those of you who know Tom well, know that he would make some smart remark if he heard me say that but I know he wouldn't change a thing.  Nor would I.  I could not have been luckier or more blessed to find Tom some 40 years ago.  He is the best husband and father anyone could ask for.

In the last couple of Blogs I talked about looking at your life, where you're going and where you want to be.  One of our friends sent me the following e-mail today.   I would like to share parts of the e-mail with you... 


"I had just finished reading a book by Dr.Ira Byock "THE FOUR THINGS THAT MATTER MOST...A Book About Living". The "four things" (the saying of them) are:

   Please forgive me.

   I forgive you.

  Thank you.

   I love you.

The mistakes of the past, which may have impacted others and "changed" the future cannot be taken back or "changed" now. And the future cannot be predicted and cannot even be wished for. But NOW is what we have and living fully now IS what we can do"

Another friend e-mailed me the following quote:

"The unexamined life is not worth living.”  Socrates

Good messages - something for us all to think about.  Life is so precious and no one knows that more than we do.

Kel, thank you for your comment on the last Blog.  We love you too.

During the Lungevity walk a couple of weeks ago Kerry  (the daughter of my long time best friend) was telling us that she discontinued Cable and subscribed to NetFlix in order to save money.  NetFlix currently has a 30-day free trial for any of you who don't have it and want to try it.  I subscribed this week and actually set up my WII to allow us to  watch NetFlix movies, tv, etc on our TV (and yes, I did it all by myself).  We'll see how it works.  It's certainly worth a try for any of you who don't currently subscribe to NetFlix especially while it's free for a month.

Thanks again for reading the Blog and staying in touch.  We appreciate the time you spend with us.

Tom's blood count was much better today.  He was able to have his chemo treatment.  As I sit here and post this Blog he is feeling terrible.  We did get a prescription for some nausea medicine that he had to take before they would administer the chemo this time.  I guess it helped a little but he is still feeling sick.

With certain Chemo treatments some of the side effects are ear ringing and numbness in the fingers.  Tom also has both of these side effects.  He did not have them with the Chemo he had this summer but the doses he's currently getting are so much stronger that I guess that's causing the side effects.

As Tom's wife, the hardest thing I have ever had to do is to watch him go through this and know that I can't do anything to change it.  If I could, I would.

We received another card this week from some of the ladies in the Morton Building.  Thank you so much.  You continue to send cards and keep us in your thoughts and we are very grateful.  By the way, not just any card but a hand made card!!

The Belmont crew stopped this week too.  Tom appreciates that you all take the time to stop and visit.  Thank you!!

In the last Blog I thanked those who supported me in the Lungevity walk that I did last week to benefit Lung Cancer.  I received another very generous donation from a work mate today.  Thank you Chris, your generosity is very much appreciated.

I could not complete this Blog post without sincerely thanking those State workers who again contributed their earned time to Tom.  Tom was given additional earned time so he can continue to receive the treatments he needs.  There are not enough thank you's that could ever tell you how much we appreciate what you've done.  You are such a wonderful group and we thank you!

We're approaching Thanksgiving in a couple of weeks.  It's a time to reflect on what we have to be thankful for.  I would encourage you to give this some thought.   All too often we take for granted what we have.  Think about the possibility of having Thanksgiving with someone you haven't seen in a while.  Think about giving a can of food to the food bank.  Think about just spending time with friends and family.


Thank you all for reading the Blog, for visiting, for sending cards, e-mails, calling and just being there.

Tom doesn't have blood work until Thursday.  If the blood work shows good results he'll have six hours of Chemo.  If not, I'll have to let you know because I'm not sure if they will hold off another week or give him Procrit, or some other form of medication.

The Lung Cancer walk for Lungevity, Inc. was Saturday.  Our group raised almost $900.  Thanks so much to all of you who walked.  You not only gave money but you gave your time.  Thanks to those who contributed, your contributions are very much appreciated.  A special thanks to my sister who made up the difference so we could make our team goal.  I wouldn't know what to do without her!  As it turned out, we exceeded our goal.

1,477 people participated in the walk and in total raised approximately $200,000, which also exceeded the Lungevity planners goal.  It is my hope to start something in NH next year.

There is a mis-conception that Lung cancer effects only those who smoke.  I hope that none of you reading the Blog believes that, but if you do, please do some research.  You will find those are not the facts.  Remember, lung cancer impacts 1 in 14 people.  

Thanks to all of you for your comments on the last Blog.  Your support is invaluable and it means everything.  It's sad that there are those in life who, for whatever their reasons, make the type of comments I addressed in the last Blog.    My guess is they don't have folks like you in their corner, even sadder for them.

For those of you who don't read the comments posted on each Blog Kerry included some websites on the last Blog for locally grown meats and foods.  I checked the eat wild site and have contacted a woman in Meredith who raises her own grass fed beef.   She sells her beef by the pound and she sells shares of beef that she is raising.  I'm not sure how the shares work but I have contacted her by e-mail and will let you know when she responds.  Her site is www.ladyfarmer.com if you're interested in checking it out.

There is another site that might interest you, it is www.localharvest.org where you can also find local produce.

If any of you eat Stonyfield yogurt you may have already seen it but their yogurt label says "The Presidents Cancer Panel recommends reducing cancer risk by choosing foods produced without pesticides, chemical fertilizers, antibiotics and growth hormones."  Be careful in choosing the foods you consume.  Nothing will ever change if we, as consumers, don't make different choices.

Here is something to think about.  Today, at church,  the minister said "you don't know how much you really have until you are deprived of it".  Those words are so true.   Think about how much you have.  Think about your family,  friends, the roof over your head.   Don't take things for granted.

Thank you again for reading the Blog.  Thank you for your support.  Thank you for being you!!!


 

Tom had his bloodwork today.  Evidently some parts of his blood improved but the parts that help stop infection aren't strong enough for him to have Chemo on Thursday so the Oncologist has put treatment off for one week.   They are holding off treatment because if Tom became too weak from the treatment and caught something, a cold, the flu, anything he would not be able to fight the infection.

I write this Blog with a little disappointment and a little sadness. Someone told me the other day that "Tom knew the dangers of smoking yet he continued to do it anyway. He should have known better." I know that I'm an idealist but it saddens me to think that people can think that way and worse yet voice those comments to me. Am I to assume that Tom deserves this? 

I understand that no one, unless you've been in this situation, knows how hard this is. It is a nightmare. It's hard on me, it's hard on the kids, it's hard on many of you and most of all this is hard on Tom. We can talk about knowing the dangers of smoking, we can say could've, would've, should've but it's a little late now. To actually say this to me was not only insensitive, it served absolutely no purpose. We are in a fight for Tom's life. We can't go back, we can only go forward. Tom is a wonderful human being. He does not deserve this. No one does.

I would also like to remind all of you reading the Blog that Lung Cancer impacts 1 in 14 americans. 1 in 14 - pretty bad odds.  There are currently no pre-screenings available.  Generally lung cancer is found only when looking for something else.  In a previous Blog I provided statistics on those who contract lung cancer.  Over 60% of new lung cancer cases are non-smokers.  What should they have done?  Do they deserve what they get?

 

All of you who read the Blog know that my sister e-mails me after every Blog she reads. After the last Blog she reminded me that it's good to control those things you can to make you happy because there is so much in life that is beyond our control. She is so right. 

Thank you Jeanne for the comment on the last Blog.  Good advice.

Thank you so much Barb for the very generous donation to the Lungevity walk. You are very kind and your generosity is very much appreciated.

As you all know we are walking on Saturday to raise money for lung cancer research.  Any of you interested in walking with us or contributing to the walk please refer to the link on the October 19 Blog.   We only have a few more days.  If you can contribute anything it will be very much appreciated.  If you can't you are very much appreciated anyway.  You have stayed with us through this and we will always be grateful.

My sister suggested that  as one of my Blog projects I consider listing some of the places where organic foods could be purchased.  I go to some very specific places but to do justice to the Blog and you before I list anything  I will  take  the time to take some notes comparing prices, selection, and geographic location in hopes to provide you with some useful information regarding organic food choices and other organic items, the ease of finding them, and price differences.

Thanks again for reading the Blog and being here.  I know I say this all the time but it really means everything.   Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.