I have not posted for a long time so I'm not sure if anyone will ever read this but here goes anyway.

It seems a little senseless to post since I can't report on Tom's progress anymore but it seems I have some things I would like to say.  If anyone reads this, that's great, if not, I guess sometimes it's just good to write things down.

It's almost been a year since Tom passed away and it seems like yesterday.  I keep thinking it's time for him to come home now because living without him isn't living at all.  I am sure there of those who think I should "just get over it".  Believe me when I say, unless you've been here, you have no idea what it's like and to think "just get over it" is cruel and unfair.  To those of us who have lost someone we care about, more than life itself, we are in an exclusive club that no one wants to pay the dues to get in.  I certainly don't want people to feel sorry for me and it's not about that.   It's about having enough compassion to not assume you know how people feel unless you have been through this yourself.  I spoke to a friend today who lost her son to a suicide recently, at 21 years old.  She too is frustrated with people telling her to "have a nice day".  How does anyone, especially anyone who has lost someone close to them and recently at that, "have a nice day"?

So, my message for this blog is....If you know someone who has suffered a tragic loss please have some compassion.  Don't assume you know how they feel and that you can make it better.  You can't.  Let me preface that by saying without the support of friends and family I could never get through each day and I am truly appreciative of everything that everyone does for me but some things just can't be "fixed".    Trying to make people feel better by saying things like "time heals all wounds" isn't necessary, just being there is.