Tom didn't have a great week this week.  We are taking it one day at a time.  He has so much courage.  I don't think I would handle things as well as he is if I were in his position.

For those of you who know Tom, you know he did practically everything around the house.  I keep telling him that I was already very aware of everything he did and that I didn't need to experience it first hand to truly appreciate it.  After shoveling snow, keeping the fire going, going to the recycle center every week, not to mention my fiasco with trying to dig the roof rake out of the snow and actually thinking I could use it.  I couldn't even lift it!  I was so convinced that I could help by shoveling the roof.  Needless to say, we had to hire someone to do it.  I also now know how to use the battery charger as the Jeep wouldn't start the other day so Tom walked me through how to use the battery charger.  That too, another fiasco, because evidently the reason it wouldn't start was because I didn't have the clutch pushed down far enough.  We called our son in law to help us out and, for him, it started right away.  Now, if you didn't know if before,  you can see how much I need Tom here.   He truly is one of a kind.

I will get to the numerous thank you's later in the post but there are some other things I would like to share with you.

Some time ago I bit the bullet and purchased a Vita-Mix blender.  If any of you have one you know they are very pricey.  That being said, they are awesome.  I make smoothies with whole fruit and greens (green smoothies), that are really good.   I originally bought it in hopes of making Tom some green smoothies - no go.   I make my own nut butters too.  No more buying peanut butter with other "stuff" in it.  In any case, a week ago, while trying to make a smoothie and do the other things I was trying to do (of course, I can't be doing just one thing) I took the lid off and pushed my fruit into the blender with the tamper that was provided.   You are not supposed to take the lid off.  You are supposed to take a portion of the lid off so the tamper does not end up in the blade.  Well, it did.  I broke my blender.  It was under warranty but due to my carelessness I thought they are never going to warranty it.  I called them and explained everything.  Evidently the Vita-Mix is designed to break where it did so the motor doesn't burn out when you put something in it you shouldn't.  They could not have been nicer.  The person I talked to was sending me a new part so I can fix it myself (well,  we'll see about that) AND a new tamper since mine was destroyed with the blade.  Here is the kicker.  They are sending it FREE.   Yes, I said FREE.  She was trying to help me out since I explained to her what I did.  Why can't all companies treat people this way?

And, here's another one... two of my sister-in-laws told me about the Bragg website.  www.Bragg.com.  A website based on health and wellness.  It's a great website.  If you get a chance, check it out.  As it turned out I purchased a gardening book and a vegetarian cookbook on line.  They called me about my order because the shipping I chose was expensive and they had cheaper shipping price that they wanted me to know about.  Not only that, but the vegetarian cookbook I ordered was no longer in print so they e-mailed me a copy - FREE.  Yes, again, FREE.  It gives me faith that there truly are companies who care about the people who purchase their products.  Maybe that's my idealistic view but I would do business with Bragg and Vita-Mix anytime and I would recommend them to anyone.  How nice it feels to do business with companies that you don't feel are taking advantage of you.

One more...For a long time I have been looking at "soap nuts" to use as laundry detergent and recently purchased some.  They are organic, have been used for thousands of years, are eco-friendly, biodegradable, hypoallergenic, unscented and highly effective.  They can be put in the compost pile when you finish with them.  Check them out at www.NaturOli.com.  By the way, they work great!

What Tom and I, and our kids are going through is incredibly difficult.  I don't say that for sympathy.  I say it because it's true.  As hard as it is, I know that without the support of friends and family, I don't know what would happen to us.

I keep saying we will be forever grateful and I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Tom's sister brought us a frozen chicken that she raised herself, pickles and relish that she made, along with brownies for Tom.  Of course he did not eat the brownies so guess who did.  I wished she raised chickens to sell.  She has the cleanest, meatiest, chickens I have ever seen and they aren't full of hormone laden stuff.  Thank you Penney.

Pip brought more peanut butter cookies for Tom before she left for a Florida vacation.

Jeff, our nephew plowed us out last week as he was making his other plow runs.

Jeff, our electrician, stops every week, without fail.  He bought Tom a model car and paint by numbers so he could try to do something during the day.

I received a very nice call from a former work mate last week wishing us the best and letting us know that he and his wife are thinking about us.

I don't think I formally thank my peers at work.  I was working between 2,200 and 2,300 hours a year (I know, I have nothing on you guys who have been plowing this winter) and someone, or someone(s) are picking up those hours for me.  Tom is my first priority, but I want the people who I work with to know what a sacrifice this is for them too.  Being away from their families more than they used to be in order to cover my workload.  I am truly appreciative.

Thanks so much to those of you who commented on the Blog...Kelly, Tami, Kerry, John, Sharon, Jeanne and Brenda (I think).  You're comments help me feel that you are in this with me.

I am so proud of our kids.  The numerous nights I call them in tears and they keep it together, at least while I'm on the phone.  I'm sure once they get off the phone with me they are in tears as well.  We are a close family and I know this is difficult for them too.  Thank you, girls, for all you do and for being our kids.

This disease affects us all.  All of those who help, call, visit.  I would ordinarily say we would return the favor if you ever need us to.  Instead I will say I pray we never have to return the favor to any of you.

Thank you so much for being there for us.

Where to start.....

It wasn't a great week this week.  If Tom does have one good day, several not so good days follow.

A long time friend of Tom's called this week to check in.  We haven't talked to him in a while.  He was unaware of Tom's condition and was, needless to say, quite surprised and upset that he didn't know.  He indicated that he wished someone had called him.

I have yet to call him back because I need to make sure I'm in the right place, in my mind, to discuss this with him.   In the meantime, I have thought about what he said - that he wished someone had called him - and the following occurred to me.  If someone gets married, has a baby, retires, gets a new job we might call our friends and family to let them know.  If someone gets a debilitating disease, looses their job, has a car accident, we don't call our friends and family to let them know.  Why, do you suppose that is?  Is it because we don't want people to think we are looking for sympathy?  Is it because it's hard to deal with, so we just don't do it?  Or, is it because we tend to share only the good news for whatever reason?   Who knows, just something to think about, and either way, good news or bad, support from friends and family is invaluable.

Jeff stopped this weekend to show me how to remove the flies from my bathroom light.  I am so inept at doing those chores.  Thank you Jeff.

Our nephew stopped to sand the driveway for us this weekend.  Thank you Jeff.

Our long time friend, and housekeeper, stopped by this week and brought us some tulips to plant indoors, just to bring some springtime into our home.  Thank you Brenda.

Tom's sister made him some peanut butter cookies.  Thanks Pip.  At least he is eating those. 

These are things that people are doing without being asked (well, I did ask Jeff to help with the flies because they were driving me nuts!!)  but just because they care.   As hard as this is, we continue to be so fortunate to have those people around us who care about us.

Thanks Jeanne, for your comment on the last Blog.  How could I not take care of Tom?  He is the love of my life.  I have spent 2/3 of my life with this man who is, without question, the best husband and father anyone could ask for.

I can't thank those of you enough who continue to stop to visit, call, e-mail and just support us in every way.  You can't have any idea, unless you are sitting where we are, how much this helps.

Finally, a post.  I want to apologize for not posting for the past couple of weeks.  I'm having a hard time dealing with this and wasn't sure I could post a Blog that would be worth reading so better not to post at all.

Tom is having a rough time.  Yesterday he had the best day he's had in a while.  Today, not so much.  He sleeps alot.  He's lost some weight, after having gained back the weight he lost after the summer.  We take it one day at a time.

As tough as this is we continue to be so grateful for friends and family.

Tom's sisters continue to check in, by calling and stopping by to visit.

Of course, Nan e-mails each day and comes to visit when she can.

Our long time friends who recently retired to Florida check in every Saturday morning.
 
Our very good friend and personal electrician Jeff and a long time friend who was in our wedding some 40 years ago came over on Saturday to be here while we had a new dishwasher installed, just in case I needed some help.  We are very thankful they were here.  In the past, Tom always did these things around the house so it's odd for us to have to hire someone.  I guess you do what you have to.

Tom received another beautiful hand made card from the ladies at DOT.  Thank you so much for keeping Tom in your thoughts.

Our nephew Jeff stopped a week or so ago to clean up the snow in the driveway.  Our other nephew is going to finish the tile floor that Tom has not been able to finish.

Brian and Ben have sanded the driveway and shoveled the roof of the camper.

Tami stops each day and Kelly stops a couple of times a week.   Tami picked up flowers for Tom to give me for Valentines Day and Kelly picked up cards.  How lucky are we to have such great kids.

As hard as all of this is I can't help but reflect on how fortunate we are to have such caring friends and family.  I can't imagine doing this without them.  I know you've seen this on the Blog numerous times but I will say it again.  I don't know how anyone would get through something like this without friends and family.  For us it's a Godsend.

Thank you all so much for being there and helping us out even when I don't update the Blog.  We are and will continue to be forever grateful.

As I said a long time ago, the first part of the Blog would be related to Tom and how he's feeling.  From there I would go on to organic information, life lessons and/or other information that I hope may inform and/or inspire you.

Tom had a tough week this week.  He hasn't been feeling well at all.  I'm hoping next week will be better.

I ask you all to keep him in your thoughts and prayers (as Kerry and Jeanne said please keep good thoughts!!).

Kerry, thank you so much for your insight.  Isn't it interesting how if we make some little changes in our lives it can make, not only a difference in our lives, but in the lives of others with whom we have contact?  The good Karma is an especially nice thought.    I'm reading a book called Love, Medicine and Miracles that also mentions how our attitudes can make all the difference in our health.  Isn't it better to be happy than to be hostile or angry with people, especially in the case of your horn blower.  Had you been angry,  my guess is he may have retaliated over what turned out to be just a bad horn connection. 

I have to admit mine is a work in progress but I think the more we try, the better we become as I'm sure you're realizing too.   If not better, at least happier.

Jeanne, thanks for your comments too.   As always, comments are very much appreciated.    And that's my lead in to what I've been thinking about all week.

I HATE this.  I HATE that Tom is sick.  I HATE that he is feeling miserable.  I want to do something and I'm stuck.  It's hard and I am definitely not in control which is a real problem for me.  Now, for the old cliche - out of something bad there is always something good.  While it's hard to find the good things there are some.  Or at least, an awareness that I wished I'd had a long time ago.

Throughout this process I know I continue to tell you how all of your support means everything.  What occurred to me last week was that Tom and I have been married for 40 + years.  I have always been close to my sister, and my brother too (before he passed away).  Tom and I weren't really close to his family because, like all of us, we are so busy raising kids, working, going to school there just wasn't enough time in the day.

Jeanne and Donna, Tom's sister's consistently check in.  Jeanne calls if she doesn't stop.  I truly enjoy their company, as does Tom.  I wished we (or I) had taken the time earlier to get to know them better.  I think they have a lot to offer and I would be proud to call them friends.  It's unfortunate that hindsight, rather than foresight, is 20/20.

This is not to take away from the rest of Tom's family whom we've had contact with throughout the years.  We are very appreciative of them, as well.

I have also made a new friend in our new sister-in-law Tammy.  She has a great heart and is a really good friend.  She, like everyone, wants to help but I don't know what to ask for.  She suggested that she come to church with me today.  What a wonderful, kind gesture.  Just to be there for support.  Something so simple and yet so kind.  Thank you Tammy.

It doesn't end here.  I couldn't be prouder of our daughters.   I think, as parents, we can take some credit for how our kids turn out.  But I also believe learning and growing never stops and continues well beyond when they leave the comfort of the home in which they grew up.   There are things that I am discovering about our kids every day.    I believe our daughters have turned out to be very extraordinary women.

I wonder if I would have discovered the things I have if Tom and I weren't going through this difficult time in our lives.    If anything good can come out if this that has to be it.

My sister, e-mails and keeps in touch constantly.  She is the primary care giver for our Mom and yet she makes sure I know where she is all the time in case I need her.  Just knowing she is there means so much.  Thank you Nan.

I have used this Blog to thank a few people that have been pretty constant in our lives, some always, some lately.  They are not the only ones.   If I were to name everyone this Blog would become a book and you would all loose interest.  It's when we are experiencing lows that people come to our aide, and we are incredibly fortunate to have the friends and family that have done just that.  I keep telling you that means everything when you are in a situation like ours.  You can't truly appreciate it unless you sit where we are but I will tell you if we are to look for the good in all of this it is to see the kindness and genuine compassion that people have shown to us.  The things we've learned about those we thought we knew.  Thank you so much.

First to update you on Tom.  He hasn't had a great week.  We were able to get into the radiologist on Tuesday so he has had four days of radiation.  He will have six more treatments.

I'm not sure if any of you reading the Blog has ever been through a similar situation and I'm also not sure there is a worse feeling than the helplessness that I feel in not being able to take this pain away from Tom.  He continues to be a trooper in dealing with this horrible disease.  I am so proud of him and could not ask for a better man in my life - in fact I don't think there is a better man than he is.

Now for my weekly lesson.  I have very little patience, not while driving, not for people who are rude, not for incompetence.   If I am in a situation where the person I'm dealing with is rude or unfriendly, I think "What a jerk.   They should find another job if they can't be pleasant".   A thought occurred to me while I was driving to the Pharmacy to pick up some pain medication for Tom this week.  I make a lot of assumptions when I think a person is a jerk because they are rude or unfriendly.  How do I know they aren't just having a bad day or that they aren't dealing with a similar situation that Tom and I are in, or heaven forbid something even worse?  Why is it okay for me to just assume they are a jerk because they weren't nice to me on a particular day?  I'm going to work at trying to be more understanding.  Not to make assumptions for something that I know nothing about.  To try to be nicer, even when someone isn't particularly nice to me.  I don't know if any of you ever feel the way that I do sometimes but I think if we all try to be more understanding and don't assume things about others we might all be better off.

One of the other thoughts I had this week was for you guys keeping the roads clear during the current blizzard.  For those of you who don't know, the guy's plowing the roads for DOT work tirelessly for hours on end to keep the roads clear for those of us driving on them.  When I say hours on end they are working straight for 16, 20, 30 hours or more.  Thank you!!

At church today the minister presented us with what it would look like if God had texted the Ten Commandments to Moses.  I thought it was fun and that I would share it with you.

M, PLS RITE ON TABS & GIV 2 PPL (Moses, please write on tablet and give to people)

1.  no 1 b4 me. srsly (No one before me, seriously)
2.  dnt wrshp pix/idols (Do not worship idols)
3.  no omg's (No Oh My God's - do not take the Lord's name in vain)
4.  no wrk on wkend (sat 4 now; sun l8r)  (no work on weekends - Saturday for now - Sunday later) (keep the sabbath holy)
5.  pos ok - ur m&d r cool (parents over shoulder ok - your Mom and Dad are cool)
6.  dnt kill ppl (do not kill people)
7.  :-X only w/m8 (sex only with mate)
8.  dnt steal (don't steal)
9.  dnt lie re: bf (don't lie to your best friend)
10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob (don't ogle your best friends mate, or ox, or donkey, mind your own business)

Thank you so much to all of you who are visiting, calling and helping to support us.

Donna and Jeanne stop in a least once a week.  I hope you know how much your visits mean to us!!

Tom's sister Penny brought us a chicken and a squash that she raised herself.  Thanks Penny.  They were both fabulous.

Nan and Ivan brought us a great fruit salad.    Nan, I am so glad you are my sister.  I love you.

Our friend, and personal electrician, Jeff continues to check in frequently.

Dennis and Tammy put in stair railings on our garage and cellar stairs so Tom could use them.   Thank you.

Thank you Brian for plowing and helping with the dump.  We appreciate everything you do.

Thanks Kel for cutting Dad's hair.

Thank you Jeanne, Sharon and Kerry for your comments on the last Blog.

I am noting those people who I have seen this past week.  In addition to those noted here we get calls, cards and well wishes from others as well.

I know you reading the Blog can't help but see the support we are so fortunate to have.  We are so grateful to all of you.  I'm not sure how we would ever get through this without you.    Thank you!!!

Several of you already know that Tom spent a few days in the hospital last week.   An MRI discovered cancer in his spine.  We have an appointment with the radiologist this week.  I'll keep you posted as we know more.

When we were at the doctors office last week we saw another state employee who was diagnosed with cancer over the Christmas holiday. 

I'm not sure if it's because we're going through this or if there is an increase in cancer cases recently but it seems that every where we turn someone is telling us they have been diagnosed with cancer. It's pretty unsettling.


One of our friends sent us the following survival kit and I thought it was worth passing on to you.  What you don't see is the picture of the survival kit that came with the e-mail (I tried to copy and paste it but couldn't get it to work).  The kit includes a toothpick, a rubber band, a band aide, eraser, a candy kiss, a mint, bubble gum, a tea bag and a pencil.

YOUR DAILY SURVIVAL KIT FOR 2011

Today, I am giving you a

DAILY SURVIVAL KIT  
to help you each day............

Toothpick ... to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone, including yourself.

Rubber band ... to remind you to be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want, but it can be worked out.  

Band-Aid ... to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else's.

Eraser ... to remind you everyone makes mistakes. That's okay, we learn by our errors.

Candy Kiss ... to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment everyday.

Mint ... to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family & Me.

Bubble Gum ... to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.

Pencil ... to remind you to list your blessings every day.

Tea Bag ... to remind you to take time to relax daily and go over
that list of God's blessings. This is what makes life worth living every minute, every day.




Thanks again for reading the blog and staying with us. 

Tom didn't have a great week last week.  He had planned on doing some things around the house but as it turned out didn't feel very well so those plans have been set aside.

The most frustrating thing for me about this disease is that I can't fix it.  I just want to make things better for Tom.  I want him to have one day that he is feeling ok (truth be told, I want more than one but I'll take one at a time).  When you see someone you love going through this disease day after day, or any debilitating type disease it makes your heart sink.  Personally, I think he's handling this much better than I am.

I know, in my heart, that a positive attitude will help so on with the march.

Our daughter and her kids posted a list of the best and worst things of 2010 on her Blog.  I think that's a great idea.  It would be my hope that we could learn from some of the worst things that happen to us and cherish and repeat some of the best things.

Thank you all for your Christmas cards and well wishes for Tom.  They mean so very much to us.  And Julie, your hand made cards couldn't be more perfect.  Thank you!

Thanks Carla and Jeanne for your comments on the last Blog and your prayers for us. 

I went to Church yesterday and the minister said a prayer for Tom.   I was a little taken back as I had not discussed this with him but at the same time very appreciative as well.

We wish you all a very healthy and happy new year.  Thanks again for being there for us.