It seems to strange to me to be updating the blog and not be able to tell you how Tom is doing.

I received the following poem from a friend of mine a while ago and thought it was worth sharing with you.

You can shed tears that he is gone
    or smile because he lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back to you
    or you can open your eyes and see all he left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
    or can be full of the love you shared
                                              - David Harkins

There are many things that I miss about Tom and worse is that he was so capable of doing so many things and I don't even know where to being.  The toilet broke and I didn't know how to fix it.  The water softener filter needs to be changed and I can't get the cover off.  I can't fix the timer on the towel warmer.  Every where I look, the little things he took care of, and some not so little.  I'm lost.  I can't find my way.  And I'm scared.  How do I live without him?  People keep telling me it will get easier.  It isn't.  I know I'm not the first person to ever have to go through this but I just don't know how it's done.

In a previous blog I mentioned the 5k walk that I am coordinating to take place on November 5 at NHTI to raise money for lung cancer research.  Last Sunday I decided to start contacting some local newspapers to ask for free ad space,  not only to advertise the walk but, to inform folks about the devastating effects of lung cancer.  As a result of my inquiries, on Friday the Laconia Citizen came to my home to interview me for a human interest story.  I had the journalist in tears with my story.   I am so grateful they took an interest.    I will take all the publicity I can get if it helps people learn more about lung cancer and if it helps to raise money for lung cancer research.

I also had a meeting with the Oncologist last week.  It was not our imagination that Tom seemed to be getting better.  The Oncologist indicated with Tom's original cancer diagnosis, and the aggressive treatment they administered, he expected him to recover.  The cancer that showed up in his spine was a shock to his physician team as much as it was to us.  When I asked if it was related to the lung cancer he said he couldn't be sure but had to assume it was.    He also said he would try to be more forthcoming in supplying his patients with more information in the future.

I want to share some lung cancer statistics with you.  You'll be seeing these again in the future as we gear up for the November walk.

• Lung cancer is the NUMBER 1 cancer killer.  More than breast, prostate, colon, ovarian, non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, and melanoma cancers combined.
• Lung cancer impacts 1 in 14 Americans.
• More than 1 1/2 times as many women die of lung cancer as breast cancer
• 65% of Americans diagnosed with lung cancer have either never smoked a cigarette in their lives or have quit smoking.
• Less than 15% of people diagnosed with lung cancer survive 5 years post-diagnosis because it is discovered too late.
• There is no widely available effective early diagnostic tool available today.
• If lung cancer is caught before it spreads, the chance for survival improves to over 60%.

Do you know why fewer people die of breast and colon cancer?  Because of early detection as a result of screenings available.

As I have become more involved in the Lungevity Foundation and the upcoming walk I have learned more about lung cancer.  Before Tom was diagnosed with it we didn't think about it.  I ask myself, why is that?  Breast cancer fundraising efforts are advertised all the time.   Colonoscopy's are recommended, by physicians, after a certain age.  Breast cancer awareness, breast and colon early screenings are due to efforts of folks like you and me who pushed for these things to happen.

When I see folks I haven't seen for a while and they find out Tom passed away from lung cancer, the first thing they ask is "did he smoke?"  I think that is an incredibly narrow minded comment.   Given the above statistics, only 35% of those who smoke die of lung cancer.  What's more baffling to me though, is if someone passes away from breast cancer we don't ask "Were they taking hormone replacement therapy drugs?  Did they eat right in order to prevent breast cancer? Were they overweight?"  These are some of the causes of breast cancer but it never occurs to us to ask these questions.  When someone passes away from colon cancer we don't ask if "they ate enough fiber", "if they were overweight".  Isn't it the same thing?  More importantly, Tom did not deserve to die this way.  He never did anything in his life to warrant the pain and suffering he endured as a result of this horrible disease.

I would be the first to say I would much rather stop big tobacco from manufacturing and selling smoking products.  It isn't going to happen.  There is too much money involved and too many influential people that aren't going to let that happen.  Cigarettes are the most addictive drug on the market.  We can say smokers knew the risk.  We could say that about crossing the street.  Doesn't it seem that early detection, as with other cancers, would be the answer?  Or, do we bury our heads in the sand and say "Well, if they smoked they made their choice".  Is it a choice?  If it is, why don't you loose the 10 lbs you've been trying to loose forever?  Why don't you work out every day like you said you would?  If you don't couldn't you have the next heart attack?  Does the prospect of that make you take better care of yourself?  We're all out there, as long as it's not happening to us.   

I am going to do everything in my power to make the November walk, in memory of Tom, work.  I want to bring an awareness to lung cancer and some day maybe there will be early detection.  Someday there may be a widow sitting in her house all alone, missing her husband, but it won't be from lung cancer.  Some day.

Thank you Brenda and Kerry for your comments on the last blog.  Your comments, as always are very much appreciated.

Thank you all.